The One No One Knows
by Kap-Sara
Summary: Harry defeated Voldemort in the Ministry of Magic. He is gone, and new secrets come to the surface in the form of Harry Potter's sister. She looks like her mother, and that does not go unnoticed by a certain professor.
1. The New Girl

**A/N** In this story, Harry defeated Voldemort down, in the Ministry of Magic, during his 5th year at Hogwarts. Therefore, Dumbledore and Sirius, is still alive.. (:

**The One No One Knows**

It was just another day. Snape got up, took a shower, got dressed and went to eat breakfast. He was in a terrible mood, and didn't hesitate, to yell at some Gryffindors when he bumped into them, on his way to the Great Hall. He placed himself at the usual seat, noticing that Albus, yet another day, had chosen, not to eat with the rest of the staff.

Around him, the teachers had start talking about some new student, that had been brought in. Snape really had no interest in it until Albus Dumbledore got mentioned. "What did you say?" he asked professor Sprout, which talked loudly with professor Flitwick. She looked quite surprised that Snape would participate in any morning conversation. "Uh.. I've heard, that professor Dumbledore raised her. I also heard the rumor, that she should be related with Harry Potter, but as far as I think, that is some rubbish." After that, Snape didn't listen. He knew that Dumbledore had raised a girl. But he was very strict about letting anyone know her. Snape had never seen her, and hardly anyone knew she existed. But he did know, that it wasn't Dumbledore's daughter. That was why it had to be kept a secret. Severus never knew _why_ Dumbledore had had to raise her though. But he was sure going to find out.

Beside him, professor Sprout had noticed, that Severus wasn't paying attention any longer, and had turned her attention back to Flitwick. Severus rose from his seat without uttering another word and vanished out the back door. His first class of the day was the first years from Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. He told them to start brewing a random potion, which, after the class was over, he realized, was way too complicated, for some first years to brew. He just snared at them and told them to go out of his class room. After those hours, he wasn't supposed to have anyone until late afternoon.

Severus decided to go ask Dumbledore about this new girl. He had to know something about her, since she now started at Hogwarts. As Severus walked, preoccupied in his own thoughts, he didn't notice a girl, walking in his direction, with her head buried way down in a map. As the two of them collided, Severus got ready to spill every single swear word in his vocabulary, but lost his ability to speak, when he saw the girl in front of him. "Oh, I'm so sorry!" the girl said. "I didn't.. " She was a perfect copy of Lily Evans. Same red hair, same green eyes, same face. "Lily..?" Severus blurted. The girl looked up at him for the first time. She even looked at him, with the same expression; mouth slightly open and with the most calming eyes, Severus had ever seen. Severus then felt a feeling he hadn't in many years. His stomach started to tingle, he couldn't help but give her a little smile. "I-I'm sorry.. Do I know you?" she asked. Severus smile fainted. He then realized it wasn't _that_ Lily. He then remembered that _that_ Lily had died a long time ago. And the one standing in front of him, was way too young to be her. The girl – or woman, in front of him, was about 15-16 years old.

Lily shook her head. "Anyway.. Can you tell me where to find Gryffindor common room? I seem to have lost my way." Severus blinked. "It – It's that way." Severus said. "Follow me. I'll take you there." He then walked past her, and headed for Gryffindores entrance. They walked in silence, but inside, Severus' mind was full of questions. Was this the girl, Dumbledore had raised? Was Lily her mother? If that was the case, why keep her hidden? Did she even know anything about Harry Potter?

Severus stopped outside the picture of the fat lady. "Thank you. I know the password. "Severus turned away from her, and headed for Dumbledore's office. He could barely get himself to say the password to the gargoyle, but he finally managed to, and went fast up the stair. He knocked firmly on Dumbledore's door and walked in, not bother to wait for a response.

Dumbledore sat at his desk, as always, and did not seem surprised to see Severus. "Hello Severus." He said calmly. Severus sat down across from Dumbledore. "Is that Lily's daughter?" Dumbledore nodded, "Yes." "Why wasn't I told?" Severus asked. "It was for the better Severus. Not many knew that Lily and James even had another child. She was born, while they were under protection from the order. That's when Lily got pregnant too, actually." Severus swallowed hard. "Why now?" he asked. "Voldemort is dead. There is no threat to her anymore." Dumbledore simply said. "Severus, I must tell you, she is not her mother. She might look like her, but she is not her. Do not do something stupid." Severus looked at him. "Why was it you, who raised her? Why not give her to her aunt and uncle, like with Potter?" "Severus.. I knew what I was doing, when I placed Harry with them. Lily is different. She is unknown to the world. Therefore, she should stay that way. Even to the muggles." Dumbledore claimed.

Severus thought a lot about Dumbledore's last answer, and Dumbledore gave him the time. "Does she know about her parents and.. Harry?" The old man across from him nodded. "Yes. And I hope, that Harry is going to find comfort in her. And she is going to answer some of the questions, that I wasn't able to." There was a long pause before he then said; "Please wait, Severus. Let her get used to having a brother, a family, before confessing it to her." Severus looked at him, and foolishly asked; "Confessing what?" although he knew, what Dumbledore was going to say. "Your love."


	2. One Set Of Black Eyes

**A/N:** English is my second language. Im sorry for any typing errors or made-up words :P

There were 50 set of eyes, staring at Lily, when she entered the common room. She bit her lips, and already regretted, not taking McGonagall with her. Her eyes quickly found Harry in the middle of the crowd. Hopefully he'd been told. She shyly waved him. He got on his feet and walked towards her.

"Lily?" he asked surprised. "Dumbledore told me, that it would take at least a week before you came." Lily smiled and ignored the gasps behind him, when they heard her name. "Yeah.. But he said I could go now.. So I did." She smiled. This was hard. Finally meeting her brother, and then not really knowing how to start their conversation. Lily then got aware of the now 49 pairs of eyes, staring. "Could we go somewhere and talk? The lake maybe?" she asked. Harry nodded and led the way to the lake.

After a very uncomfortable silence, Harry finally said something. "McGonagall told me about you." He simply said. Lily nodded. "She's a very nice woman.. When she chooses to." She said and smiled. Harry gave a nervous laugh and said; "Tell me about it."

Lily frowned. Why was he nervous? She reached out and stroke his arm calmly. Harry gave a little surprised grunt, which he tried to cover up with a cough. "No reason to feel uncomfortable, Harry. If you don't want to talk yet, we'll just wait 'til another time, hm?" she said, getting up and preparing to leave.

"But.. I have so many questions." Harry suddenly said. Lily sat down again with a thump. "Like what?" "Like.. When did I get a sister?"

Lily laghed and then told him everything. How she hidden away, living in a house, far away from any civilization. How she felt guilty somewhere deep inside, because Harry had to live with the Dursleys. How Dumbledore always had talked with her, so that she knew exactly what happened to Harry. And then she told him about the loneliness, and how she was sick of knowing about her brother, but not REALLY knowing him.

Harry turned out to be a great listener. He asked questions at the right time, and gasped and laughed when he was supposed to. _We're very much alike_. Lily thought happily.

When she finished her story, he started his. About how lonely _he _had felt. How he was so mad at Voldemort, because he had to take their parents away. Lily nodded sadly at that thought. She would have loved to know her parents. She'd heard that she looked just like her mother, many times, but she would very much like to see for herself.

They finished the serious business, and went over to the lighter talk. Like what Harry liked to do in his spare time. He told her about Quidditch, which he of course promised to learn her. He told her about Hermione and Ron, and of Ron's sister, which he found himself having a crush on but not knowing how to handle it, because of Ron. They then came to the subject Hogwarts, which harry babbled on about in quite a long time, before finally coming to a halt and looking at her.

"Have you met any teachers beside Dumbledore and McGonagall?" he asked curiously. "Uhm.. I bumped into one at the hallway." She said. "Don't know his name, but he seemed quite nice. Nice smile." She said, looking out at the lake. "How did he look like?" Harry said. "Uhm.. Tall.. Long black hair, and he was wearing a black robe." She said, remembering exactly how he looked like. Harry looked shocked at her. "Wait.. He _smiled _at you?" he asked. "Uhm.. Yes? Shouldn't he?"

"You have potions tomorrow, right?" Harry asked. Lily nodded, not understanding the sudden change in subject. "You'll see, then."

As Lily fell asleep that night, she couldn't help but think about the teacher, she had run into, in the hall. He had looked at her, like he'd never seen a human being before. Like he'd just found an unique artifact, that was his to show the world.

With that in mind, she drifted off to sleep. Hoping that the next day would involve a lot less staring. From everyone.

When she was living in the house with Dumbledore, Lily had gotten used to getting up at 11-12 o'clock. But when a friendly hand shook her shoulder, and said that the time was 6:30, and breakfast was served in 30 minutes, Lily just wanted to turn over, and go back to sleep.

She knew it wasn't an option, though. She'd promised Albus, that she would take Hogwarts serious, and that was a promise she was going to keep. Therefore, after a bit more shoulder shaking and a lot personal convincing, before she finally sat up and opened her eyes. She looked into the green eyes, of a red haired girl. Although she didn't introduce herself, Lily new exactly who it was. "You must be Ginny." She concluded out loud.

Ginny smiled and nodded. "Yes. You need to get up. We need to have breakfast early, so that we don't get late for Snapes potion class." Ginny said determent. Lily nodded and pushed her blankets aside. She preferred to sleep in an oversize t-shit and underwear. She didn't like pyjamases, because they made her feel trapped, if you could say that.

Lily had a scar, going from her hips, all the way down to her ankle. She'd gotten it when she was ten. Dumbledore had finally let her be alone for more than a couple of hours. Lily had stupid as she was, gone straight for the broom cabinet. Oh how she wanted to try flying. She took the broom outside, and took off from the ground. It went fine a first, but then she wanted to go faster and faster, and before she knew it, she collided with a tree. She had fallen sideways into a branch, hip first. The branch went straight through her skin, and moved as she fell.

So when Lily had thrown her legs over the bedside, Ginny gasped. Lily looked at Ginny, then at her leg, and then back at Ginny again. "Oh.. It's nothing. It's old." Lily smiled. She quickly got up, and got dressed. She then followed Ginny down into the Great Hall.

Breakfast was good. Lily got to talk to Harry some more, and got properly introduced to Hermione and Ron. She also got to know Ginny a little better, and hoped that the two of them would be really good friends. She liked her. In her company, Lily felt like she could talk about everything.

During breakfast, Lily got this odd feeling in the back of her neck. It almost _tingled. _Like someone was watching her. Not just staring, like they had the night before. No, _watching _her. Lily looked around her, and finally found herself staring at the teachers table. Right into the black eyes of Professor Snape. He continued to look at her for 30 seconds or so, before he quickly stood up and walked out of a door behind the table.

Lily frowned at herself and joined Hermione and Ginnys conversation, about what animagus they would be, if they'd ever had the chance.

All of the sudden, Ginny jumped up. "Oh no. We need to go now." She pulled Lily at her feet. Ginny looked helplessly at the trio and uttered the word "Snape." Like that explained it all, and pulled Lily with her.

During 2 and a half minute, Ginny had pulled Lily with her, up in the girl's dormitory, and down in the dungeons.

Lily desperately trying to catch her breath said, "Why – so – fast?" Ginny only laughed. "That weren't all that fast. You should see me when I'm really in a hurry. Going to Hogwarts is great exercise." Lily exhaled, finally getting her breath under control. The door to the classroom was opened and people started to get in. Again, Ginny pulled Lily with her and placed the two of them at a table together.

Lily saw, that Ginnys face looked a lot more tense, that it had two minutes ago. Lily followed Ginnys look and found herself, for the second time that day, looking straight into a couple of black eyes. It looked a lot like two pieces of coal.

And the way he looked at her. It was like in the hallway. Suddenly it was like the eyes caught on fire, only for a quarter of a second though, and then he looked away and started talking to the class in general. But Lily had noticed. Her heart started beating faster. She could feel the start of butterflies in her stomach and Lily swallowed hard. This was not good. She knew exactly what feeling, that started to develop in her stomach.

She had felt it one time before, but not quite like this though. She had been 12, and his name had been Casper. He lived in the nearest house, and had took the wrong turn, and ended up at her house. He'd given her a kiss on the cheek, as he left. He didn't saw him after that.

But this was very different. This was not just butterflies. She could feel the warmth developing through all of her body and made her heart go faster. Oh, no. Not this. Not now. Not with a teacher! She yelled inside her head.

Lily stood up and felt all eyes staring at her. She could not find anything to say. She kept looking at the professor, which looked back, curiously. "I'm sorry!" she blurted and ran out the class.


	3. Dreams Become Reality

Chapter 3

Lily could hardly breathe. After she'd bailed on potions, she'd run all the way up to Dumbledore's office and was now standing in front of the gargoyle. "Pumpkin juice" she said, still trying to get her breathing under control. The gargoyle jumped aside for her, and she started to go up the stairs.

She knocked determent on the door and almost immediately someone said "Come in", from the other side of it. Lily opened the door and entered the office, she'd come to know that well over the years. It was the only part of Hogwarts she'd ever seen, because when she was very small, Dumbledore needed to have her with him, because she couldn't take care of herself.

Dumbledore sat behind his desk, looking at her with a couple of calm eyes behind half-moon glasses. "Lily!" he said happily. "How's the first day go-" "I need to quit potions." Lily interrupted. Dumbledore frowned. "And why is that?" he asked

Lily didn't answer. She hadn't prepared an answer to that, and she couldn't tell Dumbledore the truth. So she just stared.

Dumbledore seemed to have his own conclusions. "Oh." He said. "Sit down." Lily sat down on the chair across from Dumbledore. He looked serious. Oh _crap! _He'd seen right through her, as he always had. Lily had tried so hard to keep a neutral look, but had obviously failed.

"You need to know, that Severus isn't like that. He would never do such thing." Dumbledore said determent. What? "Like what? Wouldn't do what?" Lily asked. Dumbledore looked a little saddened by her lack of understanding.

"Try to force you into being with him." He simply said. Lily had obviously missed something along the way. "Wait.. What? He wants to be with me?" she asked surprised, feeling her heart jumping up her throat. She swallowed hard, forcing herself to keep a neutral face. "He didn't tell you?" Dumbledore said. "Wasn't that why you wanted to stop having potions, my dear?" Lily just shook her head.

"Oh." Dumbledore simply said. "Oh well. Never mind then!" he said cheerful and started babbling about some of the "wonders" about Divination.

Lily blinked. This was not good. She had a hard enough time, just trying to convince herself, that she didn't felt anything just by itself. But now knowing he wanted it too. No matter what the reason was.

She didn't go back to the potions classroom, but went straight to their next. Muggle Studies. She should do well in that class. Dumbledore had made sure to keep a good mixture of magic and mugglestuff in the house she'd lived in.

When the rest of the 5th years came into the classroom, they smiled and waved. It was like they liked what she did. Ginny sat down next to her, smiling. "Well done," she said. "No one ever walks out on Snape."

The rest of the day went quietly. Muggle Studies and Charms, and then the day were suddenly over. When they sat at dinner that night, Lily felt the tingling in the back of her head again. She didn't want to turn around, because she knew it wouldn't be good.

She went to bed quite early. It had been a good day today. She'd made a couple of new friends and the teachers seemed really nice. Lily turned over and almost immediately fell asleep.

Oh, she knew.

Severus was sure of that. He was a fool for thinking that he could hide it. It was, after all, Dumbledore that had raised her, and he sure didn't have a problem looking quite through her. So why should she?

Lily had always had a power over him. Making him lose control and do whatever she wanted to. It would be a bad thing, if this Lily had inherited that feature. He looked into his fireplace and sighed. This was definitely not good. The way she'd stormed out the class today, wasn't a good sign.

But maybe it would be a good thing. If he didn't have the temptation, then it would be easier. By knowing that she didn't want him, he hoped that it would be easier. Hopefully, she would get back in potions class next time.

_Two bodies entwined. Hot breath followed by lips on the neck. Hands trailing down the body, to rest at the hips. _

"_Do it" a voice said."I know you want to." _

Lily woke up with a gasp, sweating all over. She'd had this dream 3 nights in a row now. She sat up and rubbed her eyes. She looked at the alarm by her bedside. It was 5:30. Still another hour before the rest of the house would even think on getting up.

Lily threw her legs over the bedside. This couldn't go on. She got dressed.

Moments later she found herself down in the dungeons, knocking on Professor Snapes personal quarters door. It was answered almost immediately by a surprised looking Snape. _Maybe he'd fallen asleep by his desk? _Lily thought, because he was wearing robes, but pushed the thought away, by remembering why she was here.

"Miss Potter?" Snape looked at her with that look again. Lily's heart started beating faster. She took a deep breath, pulled Snape by his collar and pressed her lips hard against his.

It didn't take the professor long to start kissing back. Lily softly brushed her tongue over his lips, as a request to enter. The professor came with a muffled sound and opened his mouth, allowing her to enter.

Lily leaned against the man, wanting more and quickly realized that maybe this wasn't that good of an idea anyway. She broke the kiss, but Snape had no intentions on letting her go. He kissed her down her neck, biting her collarbone gently.

His hands were strategically situated on her waist, forcing her to stay put. It wasn't because she didn't like it. She enjoyed it very much indeed. But they were supposed to be teacher and student.

Lily shook her head and tried to remove Snapes hands, which only resulted in him holding on better. "N-No." she said, not sounding as determent as she'd hoped. Snape didn't seem to care what she said and continued his kissing and biting up and down her neck.

Lily gave in. She closed her eyes and tried to follow him. The professor returned to her collarbone. He kissed it until he found a soft spot and then started circling it with his tongue.

Lily moaned and grabbed his shoulders. Snape halted and withdrew from her, looking down at her. His eyes burned as if someone had turned on the coals inside them. He bent down and kissed her greedily on the mouth.

Snape walked backwards into his quarters. When Lily realized this, she stopped. She pulled away from him and he paused in his movements.

Lily was still breathing quickly, and she had a very hard time getting it under control. "N – Not now. Its too much." She said. She twisted out of his grip, backing up a few steps and then spun around and walked against Gryffindors common room.


	4. Feeling Strange, Are We?

**A/N:** This was kinda just something that needed to get over with.. Sorry for the crappy chapter.. :P Next one will be better, I promise x)

Severus Snape. You are the stupidest man alive! What the _hell _were you thinking? Severus cursed in his head.

He still stood where she'd left him, looking at where she had left. He raised a hand and touched his lips. She had kissed him. He clearly hadn't made the first move. He had been pulled fast down to her, and then she had kissed him. Severus's mind had snapped almost immediately and pulled him back to his 4th year and to Lily. He'd imagined it was her, and then everything worked automatically.

They had kissed a long time and then she had suddenly broken the kiss for no apparent reason, but Snape couldn't let her go. Not now that he had her. He had kissed her neck, finding a common soft spot down at her collarbone and then the most wonderful sound had reached Severus' ears. She had moaned. It wasn't a very loud moan, but it was there. He had looked her deep in her eyes, still having the hallucination that is was his Lily, and then kissed her. He had walked backwards, thinking that this wasn't the place to be, and then suddenly she pulled away and walked away.

Yup, Severus had really messed it up this time. He could might as well pack up and leave right now. When Dumbledore heard about this, he would get down here and finish him off, personal. And that wasn't even the worst part. He had kissed her, believing that she was Lily Evans. Not Lily Potter. Yup. If his spywork hadn't sent him to hell, this sure would. Kissing a student, a minor even. And not just any minor. Lily's daughter. The girl that Albus Dumbledore had housed the last 15 years. He sighed.

Severus turned around and walked back in his rooms, deciding that maybe he should take his breakfast in his own room today.

Lily could still taste him in her mouth. He had tasted like tea and chocolate. An odd mixture in the morning. He had kissed her back. He actually seemed just as eager as her. It kind of scared Lily a little. Now that she knew that he wanted it too, it just made everything worse.

She whispered "Dragon scales" to the portrait and entered the common room. She situated herself in front of the fireplace, pulled her legs up and sighed, resting her chin on her knees. Now she defiantly couldn't attend potions on Monday.

She sat there for a long time without realizing it. The fire and her thoughts had hypnotized her, but it got interrupted by a hand on her shoulder. Lily looked from the hand on her shoulder, to the person at the end of the arm. It was Ginny, looking down at her with worried eyes. "Are you okay?" Lily blinked and nodded. "Yeah. I'm okay. Just.. had a very bad night." It was kinda true. It had been bad. All of it.

Ginny gave her an encouraging smile and shrugged. "Come with me and get some breakfast. There's nothing that can't be fixed by a good breakfast." She said and offered her, her hand. Lily smiled weakly and took the hand.

Lily noticed right away, that Professor Snape wasn't at breakfast. She didn't know what she'd expected anyway. "Looking for someone?" Ginny asked, as they sat down at the Gryffindor table. Lily shook her head and sat down beside her. "No." she just said.

About fifteen minutes into their breakfast, Dumbledore rose from his seat up at the head table. He cleared his throat and within seconds the Great Hall was silent. "Good morning, children. We have a little surprise to you." He said and smiled calm at the students. "At the end of next week, we have planned a ball, in celebration of the war, ending. " The hall cheered. Apparently Hogwarts liked those. "That was all. Have a good day." Dumbledore sat down again and the hall immediately started to talk about the upcoming ball.

"Omg, who are you bringing?" was the first question Ginny asked her. Lily shrugged. "I don't really know anyone.. Maybe I should just go alone." Ginny shook her head. "No way. We're gonna find you someone." "Like who? I don't know anyone!" Lily said. It was true. She only knew Ginny, Harry, Hermione and Ron. And those four were practically locked as couples. Ginny thought a little bit before she smiled. "You could go with Neville! He's really nice. A little nervous, but a really good dancer."

Harry had apparently heard that, because he looked at them at the table. "Yeah. Take him. He would really like that. He's been talking about you all week" He said. "Fine." Lily just said. "I'll go with him.. If he wants to. I will find him tonight." She looked at Ginny with a strict look. "But you're going with me!" Ginny just laughed at that.

After two dangerous Care of Magical Creatures lessons, and a single Herbology lesson, the day was over. At 6 p.m. they went to dinner, and Lily had happily forgotten all about asking Neville to be her escort to the ball. Until suddenly Ginny pulled her down besides her, away from where they regularly sat. Now, instead of Hermione and Ron, Lily sat across from nervous looking boy. He had dark blond hair and grayish eyes. He wasn't ugly, but he weren't going to be someone Lily fell in love with, if she should decide by looks.

"Hello Neville!" Ginny said cheerfully. "Hello" he said, smiling weakly and looked at Lily a little curiously. "Lily has something she would like to ask you." Lily could feel the heat going to her chins a smiled a little shyly. "Uhm.. It's just, I don't really know that many people. And Ginny has talked about how nice you are.. So I was wondering.. Would you like to go to the ball with me on Saturday?" You could clearly see, that he had some trouble, keeping a huge smile in. "I would love to go with you." He said, blushing slightly. Lily smiled back and looked down at her dinner. "Thank you. That means a lot." She said.

The next week was slow. Very slow. Monday, Lily did as she had planned. She didn't went to Potions, but she got quite surprised when no one responded on it. On Wednesday, teachers had cancelled all lessons, so that the school could go to Hogsmeade, if anyone needed anything for the ball.

Lily had been talking a lot with Neville all week. She would very much like to get to know him, before going to the ball with him. He was a nice guy, Neville. He could hypnotize her with his enthusiasm when he started talking about Herbology. Lily liked him.. a lot. But he didn't gave her the butterflies, like a look from Professor Snape did. Lily tried not to think about him in general. It was out of the question.

Thursday night, she'd been reading in the library and suddenly it was 10 p.m. She was supposed to be at the dormitory an hour ago. She sighed and closed the book, putting it into place and started walking towards the common room. As she rounded a corner, she bumped into something soft. She looked up and started right into two pieces of coal, suddenly catching fire.


	5. Seeing Someone Else In You

"**I-I'm sorry, Professor**." Lily said, but didn't move from her position.

She stood where she bumped into him. She just looked at him. He didn't say a word to her. He never did, actually. The only time he'd spoken to her, was when she bumped into him, trying to get to Gryffindors common room for the first time.

They just looked at each other for a few minutes until Lily couldn't take it anymore and stood at her tiptoes, and kissed him. He kissed her back immediately and eagerly, like last time. His tongue begged for entrance and Lily gave it quickly, but he didn't hold on to her with his hands, like he had the last time. He tasted the same. Chocolate and tea.

Lily took initiative and traced a hand up his arm. Snape grabbed it, not allowing her move it. Lily pulled her hand back, but didn't try to touch him again. The kiss lasted for what seemed like forever to Lily, until Snape interrupted it. "**Im sorry, Professor**." Lily repeated.

"**Call me Severus**." He said, surprising Lily. "**Goodnight Ms. Potter.**" He walked past her, not uttering another word.

Lily looked after him. _Severus, hm? So that's his name _Lily thought to herself. She started to walk again and within five minutes she was at her dormitory, ready to go to bed. She wasn't sure if she could sleep, though. Her stomach still had butterflies, and she still had the taste of him in her mouth. She sighed and tried to sleep anyway.

That night, her dreams replayed the kiss over and over again.

Friday came and went, and before Lily had the time to say Quidditch, it was Saturday. Ginny had insisted on them going to the dormitory immediately after dinner. Apparently she was supposed to use 4 hours to get ready on, although she used most of her time, helping Ginny to decide how to look like.

It didn't take Lily long to figure out how she was going to look like. She curled her hair softly and let it hang loose. She pulled on the dress that she'd bought at Hogsmeade and turned to look at herself in the mirror.

The dress was gorgeous. It was of dark blue satin that followed her body closely. It had a deep v-cut, but still looked elegant. Bands twisted around her under her breasts and after that it hung loose over her hips and fell to the ground. Lily smiled at her reflection and turned around to face Ginny. "**You look beautiful!**" she said, smilingly. "**So do you.**" Lily replied.

Ginny was wearing a light green dress that really complemented her body and matched her eye color. She'd put her hair up in a knot, but had let a few tufts of hair be around her face. She was very pretty indeed.

As Lily and Neville walked into the ball room, a few people stopped and stared. Lily could hear Neville swallow hard beside her. "**Don't worry**" she whispered and took his hand. "**Just let them look.**" Neville nodded nervously and they walked in, and onto the dance floor.

It was beautiful decorated. Since it midoctober, the hall had been decorated in autums colors. Orange and red leaves floated 5 meters up in the air, leaving a beautiful light to go through them. Dark orange tablecloth covered every table, and roses was floating in the middle of each table.

Neville was an.. okay dancer. He didn't step on her toes very much, but he concentrated very hard, that's for sure. No chance of having any conversation what so ever, while they were dancing. The song ended, and Lily made a personal memo not to dance anymore that night. They sat down at a random table, and Neville started to go on about plants.

Lily sighed discreetly and looked around. The black eyes of Severus Snape quickly caught her. He was staring right at her, wearing a black robe with emerald details on it, and no one seemed to notice. Lily blinked and could feel her stomach starting to tingle. Severus stood up, looked at her with a smirk and then went out of the door behind him.

Lily knew what he wanted. "**I – I need to, eh, powder my nose**." She said to Neville and stood up and walked out the hall, not waiting for a response. She had no idea of where to look for Severus.

Suddenly a pair of hands grabbed her shoulder, and pulled her backwards, into the hallway that connected the entrance hall with the kitchen and pressed her up the wall. They looked at each other, no one saying anything for a couple of minutes, before Lily couldn't take another look from him and whispered desperately "**What are you waiting for? Kiss me. Now.**" It was almost like Lily had to practically _beg_ every time she wanted them to kiss.

Severus obeyed and leaned in and pressed his lips on hers. Lily closed her eyes and kissed back. Lily slid a cold hand slide down his neck, and she could feel, it made him shudder. She pulled him closer, if it was even possible, and could suddenly feel something hard against her stomach. Lily broke the kiss and looked down.

_Oh.._ she thought. She began to reach out for his crotch, not deciding whether to open his pants or just.. poke it. But she got interrupted by one of Severus' hands around her wrist. "**No**" he said, breathing heavily.

"**But I – " **Lily started. "**No.**" Severus said determent. "**It would be wrong.. And I am no monster.**" Lily looked up at him. He had suddenly the wall behind her very interesting. "**You'll never be a monster to my eyes.**" Lily whispered.

"**Don't stay away from Potions.. People **_**will**_** notice.**" He said, ignoring what she'd just said. He looked at her briefly and pulled away, walking out of the hallway.

Lily took a deep breath. This was going nowhere. They'd only kissed three times, but Lily wanted, no, she _needed _more. She couldn't settle with this. She sighed, smoothed out her dress and walked back into the Great Hall.

_You have gone too far_. Severus told himself. But he couldn't help it. She'd been so beautiful. And her lips had been so willingly. And she'd looked at him so… Urgh! It had taken all of his will to say no to her. And _god!_ Severus could have sworn that he could come right there on the spot, if hadn't kept himself back.

Severus knew, he needed to keep himself back, but as he sat in his quarters that night, he couldn't help himself from finding a small piece of parchment, and write down the words; "_Come down at midnight tomorrow_" and whispered a small spell. He knew she would get the message.

He closed his eyes and sighed over the foolishness of this. He was acting a lot like a teenage boy, and he couldn't afford it. Especially not tomorrow. He wouldn't want to do something that would scare her away. She meant to much for him already.


	6. Exposed

Lily stared suspicious at the note. She'd come up from the ball very late, and had made sure not to make any noise. But then she'd seen the note that looked like it had been stuffed in under her pillow. "Come down at midnight tomorrow", it said. At first, she didn't really know who it was from, but then agreed with herself, that the only choice was Severus.

It had been a good night. She and Neville had really got to know each other, when his talk about mandrakes, was all done. He'd been nice, and told her about how he enjoyed being alone, but also felt a little lonely at sometimes. She'd taken his hand and told him, that he could always come to her, if he needed to talk or anything.

It had been awkward, when they had to say goodnight, though. He'd wanted to kiss her, she could see that much. But Lily didn't feel for Neville like that. Besides, her mind had been elsewhere ever since she had gone out to "powder her nose". So in the end, they hugged, and Lily walked into the girls' dormitory, to find the note under her pillow.

Lily looked at the odd note once more, and putted it in her drawer. She sighed and got out of the dress, pulled on the night t-shirt and went to bed with too many thoughts in her head.

:-:

Since it was Sunday, Lily got to sleep longer than usual. She woke up at 10:30, and felt good and rested. She would have to wait for lunch to get anything to eat though. Breakfast at Hogwarts went from 7 – 9 in the weekends.

Lilys stomach rumbled loudly, but she just ignored it. She threw her legs out over the bedside, noticing that she was the only one still up here, and closed her eyes softly, remembering about yesterday. She tried to think back to the kiss in the hallway. He'd looked at her so longingly. Wait.. Severus.. Hadn't there been a…? Lily ripped her draw open. She started at the note that, in little letters, carefully written down, said "Come down at midnight tomorrow"

The mere sight of it was enough to make her tingle. But then a thought struck her. What if he invited her down to have… _sex_? Lily wasn't ready for that. Not at all. _Well.. Uhm.. You'll just have to say it to him then _she concluded, and told herself not to think about that anymore today.

Lily stood up, and sighed at the look of her robes. She really didn't feel like wearing robes today. But then again, no one told her that they _had _to wear robes in the weekend. Only during classes. She gave the robes one last look and bent down to open her trunk. She found her cobaltblue jeans, a simple white t-shirt and her favorite converse shoes. Luckily, Dumbledore had let _her_ decide what to wear. She put it on and sighed with the relief of wearing jeans again. She'd really missed that. She took a look in the mirror by her bedside, and saw that her hair was tousled, wasn't bad though, and some of the curls from yesterday was still there. Lily shrugged and let it be as it was. She looked one last time at herself and went down to the common room.

Harry was the first to look up from the 100 pieces of documents, lying all over the table. "**Oh, hi Lily**!" he said, then noticing that she wasn't wearing robes. "**Wow, Lily. You look so… muggleish.." Lily smiled. "Yeah. Im sorry. Couldn't help myself. Got sick of robes."** She said. Harry just nodded. "**Know the feeling**" he said and looked back into his homework. "**You and Neville had a good evening? He hasn't talked about anything else all morning**" Hermione said stiffly, not looking at her. "**Yeah. It was.. nice. I'm glad I went with him**." She said. "When is lunch served? I'm starving!" "**12.**" Harry said, giving her a tired smile. Hermione gave out a loud sigh, causing everyone to look at her. "**I need to talk to you Lily.**" Hermione said with a shaking voice. "**About what?"** Lily slowly asked.

Hermione stood up. "**Come.**" She said and walked out the common room. "**Hermione, where are we going?**" Lily asked, after walking out the portrait hole. Hermione turned to the right, ignoring her question and walked into a corridor that no one ever used. She stopped and turned around, and looked at her with sad eyes. "**I saw you yesterday**." Lily shrugged her shoulders. "**Lots of people saw me yesterday. It was a ball?**" she said. Hermione shook her head frustrated. "**No! I saw you in the hallway. With Professor Snape**"

Lily blinked. She swallowed hard and could feel herself going paler. "**I** **don't know what you're talking about**." She tried, but knew that there was nothing she could say. "**Don't lie. I saw you. Lily.. He might be a professor, but he don't have the right to **_**force**_** you into something like that.**" Wait, what? Force her? Hermione thought that _he _was forcing _her_? Lily had had to beg for him to kiss her yesterday. Lily and Hermione wasn't all that close, but Lily had no intentions of lying to her. "**Hermione.. It's not like that. He would never force me.**" Lily said. Hermione looked at her confused. "**I **_**want **_**to.**"

It was now Hermione's time to get paler. "_**What!**_" Hermione bursted. "**Lily! You can't be serious! He's your teacher!**" Lily sighed, leaned up the wall behind her, and drifted down on the floor, so she sat down. "**I don't expect you to understand. I know it's wrong. But.. I think I'm in love with him.**" Lily could might as well confess immediately. No point in having a longer conversation about it. Hermione sat down beside her. "**Are you telling the truth?**" she asked. Lily could easily hear the hesitation in her voice. Lily nodded. "**I could never lie about something like that.**" She looked at Hermione. She looked like her head was about to explode any minute. "**I don't think it's a good idea, still. But.. If you really are.. in love with.. **_**Snape**_** then okay.. Its none of my business.**"

Lily sighed of relief. "**You have no idea how much that means for me.**" She said. "**Uhm.. You haven't.. told anyone, have you?**" Hermione shook her head. "**No. I needed to talk to you first.**" She murmured. "**And I'm not going to tell anyone. Don't worry.**"

Lily decided not to tell her about the note from yesterday. She would just freak out some more, and Lily did not need that. Instead they just sat there, not talking for god knows how long. None of them was able to break the silence, because they had no idea what to say.

"**What about Neville?**" Hermione suddenly asked. "**I think he really likes you.**" Lily didn't speak. _Yes. What about Neville? _Lily hadn't thought about it. Maybe Neville had seen the ball as a promise for something _more_. Lily had to talk to him about that.

Lily eventually stood up. "**I'm sorry if I'd put you in a bad situation, Hermione.**" Lily said. Hermione just nodded. "**I.. I'm gonna go now. Okay?**" Lily said. Hermione nodded again and Lily left.

She really needed to talk to Neville. Now.


	7. Have A Little Faith In Me

Chapter 7

**A/N; **This chapter, is going to be longer, then the rest of them.. But I just _needed_ to have something in it! ._.

Hours passed by, and no sign of Neville. He must have been avoiding her. She'd been down at the greenhouse, because that would be the obvious place to find him. Then she'd been looking through the rest of the castle, but still no sign of Neville.

Then, finally, as she had given up, and was heading for the common room, she spotted him, coming from the Magical History classroom. Lily went in his direction and as he spotted her he exclaimed "**Where have you been! I've been looking for you all day!**" Lily raised an eyebrow. "**You? I've almost been the entire castle around!**" They both sighed at the same time. Lily couldn't help but smile. "**I'm sorry. D-Did you want anything special?**" she asked, wanted to outdraw what she had to say, as long as she could. "**Uhm.. Yeah actually. I was wondering if I could buy you a butterbeer sometime, maybe?**" Lily bit his lip. "**Uh.. That was actually what I wanted to talk to you about.**"

Neville's smile faded. "**Oh.**" He simply said. Lily looked down, it was cowardish, but she didn't want to look him into his eyes. "**I'm sorry Neville. I really like you, I do. It's just.. I don't want to.. take advantage of you. I like someone else.**" She said, way too fast. "**I'm sorry.**" She repeated seconds later. "**It's okay. I still hope I can buy you that butterbeer though.**" he said, "**Just as friends.**" He then added. Lily could feel her lip twitch. "**Of course you can, Neville. Anytime.**"

Lily, being quite satisfied with the result of the conversation, smiled encouraging at Neville. "**You're a great friend to have, Neville**" she said and gave him a light hug, and then went past him.

If she hurried, she would, maybe, be able t- "**Oh, Lily? Can I talk to you?**" Oh _bugger!_ Lily stopped in the middle of a hallway and turned around. It was Dumbledore. "**Uhm.. Sure.**" She said, not moving. "**It will only take a few seconds. It was just something I remembered I forgot to tell you, the last time we talked**" he said, walking a few steps towards her. "**When in doubt, consider all possibilities. And **_**think**_**.**" He said. As usual, Lily didn't have a clue of what he meant. She just nodded, as she had done so many times over the years. Dumbledore smiled mysterious and walked in the direction of his office.

… _consider all possibilities.. _How could he kno- _No, Lily. It was just a mad coincidence. He doesn't know anything. _Lily tried her best to convince herself of that, but she couldn't, and that resulted in her standing exactly where she stood when he'd left her, 15 minutes later. Lily blinked. _Fuck! He knows.. _she finally concluded inside. But.. If he knew.. Why wasn't he doing something?

Ginny walked around the corner, and sighed with relief at the sight of Lily, interrupting her train of thoughts. "**Couldn't find you at lunch.**" She said. "**Didn't know where you were.**" "**I'm sorry.**" Lily said obviously confused, and not being able to say anything with more than two syllables in it. "**What's wrong?**" "**Dumbledore**" Lily said. Wow. Three syllables! Ginny looked at her understanding. "**Yeah. With all the respect, he can be a real bitch sometimes. I imagine you know all about it.**" Ginny said. Lily nodded. Dumbledore was indeed a special man.

Ginny started walking, and Lily just followed. They went to the library, where Lily used the next 4 hours reading the same sentence 5000 times. Ginny was occupied with the homework, which Lily should have been doing too. But she just couldn't _concentrate!_ The thought of Dumbledore knowing, but not doing anything about it just didn't make any sense.

Lily closed the book, she had in her hands, and looked at Ginny. "**I'm gonna go to the common room. See you at dinner?**_**" **_Lily said. "**I doubt it. I can't figure this essay out. If you see Harry.. Would you send him down here?**" Ginny asked. Lily nodded, although she knew that maybe Ginny just used the essay as an excuse to see Harry. Why would she need an excuse anyway? They were together. Everybody knew that.

Lily left the library and walked to the common room. Instead of reading up on their homework, the trio now sat in the huge sofa, in front of the fireplace. "**Oi, Harry. Ginny wants you.**" Lily said. Harry was just about to say something, but Lily was pretty sure she knew what. "**Library.**" She said. Harry nodded shyly, and left.

Lily took Harrys place at the end of the sofa, exchanging looks with Hermione. Ron noticed, but interpreted it as something else. "**Okaaaay.. If you want me.. I'll be.. somewhere else.**" He said, rasing himself from the sofa, and walked over to some 7th years that was in the middle of a very dramatic round of Exploding Snap.

Lily just stared at Hermione, and she stared back at Lily. "**Soeh.. Did you talk to Neville?**" Hermione asked. Lily nodded. "**Yes. He took it rather well, actually.**" Hermione didn't reply.

Lilys stomach made a growling sound. "**You're hungry?**" Hermione asked. Lily nodded. "**Ten more minutes, and we'll go get dinner.**" Lily nodded again.

They avoided each others look the next ten minutes. Lily didn't want to look her in the eyes, anymore then she had to. Even though, Hermione had accepted it, Lily felt bad, for pushing a secret at her. She knew Hermione was very close to Harry. And from what Lily knew, Harry wasn't all that excited about Severus. No hope for understanding there.

Ron came back, looking a little nervously from Lily to Hermione. "**Uhm.. Dinner?**" he just asked. Lily and Hermione nodded in sync, and rose, following down at dinner.

At the second, Lily sat down, she realized just how hungry, she actually was. Her stomach growled at the smell of food, and Lily started eating, fast. After her 3rd plateful, she sighed satisfyingly. "**Mmmmh.. That was good..**" she said silently at herself. "**I certainly hope so. I've never seen a girl eat that much.**" Harry bursted.

Lily jumped, by the sound of his voice. She had been too occupied with her food, to realize that Ginny and Harry had come down to sit with them. Lilly felt the blush threaten her cheeks and smiled shyly. "**Oh.. Hellow. And.. Yeah.. Haven't eaten all day.**"

Feeling fed and very lazy, Lily threw herself at the sofa, as they reached the common room again. Within minutes, she found herself sleeping.

Lily woke up by the sound of a door being closed, up at one of the dormitories. She sat up quickly and looked around. The common room was abandoned and it was all dark outside. It had to be past midnight and that made Lily swear silently. She stood up and walked out the portrait hole.

After a lot of sneaking, and some Filch avoiding, Lily stood at the same door, she had almost two weeks ago. She touched it lightly and it swung open. Lily entered the room. It had a fireplace in one of the corners. There stood a red velvet sofa before it that looked really comfy. There was a bookcase, standing close by. Right beside the door, was a desk with essays spread all over. A clock also stood there. It was 1:24 am.

Severus wasn't there. There was another door in the far end of the room, that was part open. It looked like it was bedroom. Maybe he'd went to sleep? Lily went over the floor, slowly. She pushed the door a little bit.__

She was quite right. There he was, lying under the black covers in a huge bed. "**Severus?**" she whispered, not being able to speak any louder due to a suddenly very dry throat. He shifted under the covers, and opened his eyes. He looked tired at first, but seemed to be a quick waker. He sat up, looking at her. "**Im sorry for the delay..**" Lily said, suddenly very fixated on him having a t-shirt on. "**It's okay, I suppose.**"

_**A/N:**__ First, Yes! I know it's crappy, that I'm putting an AN in the middle of the text, but I had no idea of telling you this without making spoilers! The next "scene" I listened to "Have A Little Faith In Me" by John Hiatt. Listen to that while your reading. Then you'll understand some of the things, that's a little strange (: _

Lily swallowed, took of her shoes, and sat down on the bed across from him, dareingly. "**Lily, I don't think this is a very good idea.**" Severus said, as she reached for his face. "**Don't worry. I'm not gonna do anything.**" She said, feeling quite strange, that she was the one reassuring him, and not the other way around. She knew he wanted her, from last time they'd kissed, so why wasn't it him, telling her, that he wouldn't do anything she wouldn't want?

She placed a finger at his cheekbone. She traced her finger down his chin, and further down his neck. She reached his collarbone and carefully brushed her fingers over it from one side, to the other. She sighed silently and placed her whole hand back on his cheek. "**Why me?**" she asked, almost as a whisper.

Seconds went by. He seemed to be thinking about it. "**I don't know.**" He whispered back, but for some reason, Lily didn't believe him. There was just something in his voice. She tried to forget about it, and said to herself, that she would have to ask him that, some other time. She leaned forward and kissed him on the mouth. She didn't try to get any touching or tongue involved. This was enough for her, just feeling his lips against hers.

Lily stopped the kiss and looked him in the eyes once more, without moving her face very far from his. She could feel his uneven breath on her mouth. She felt very close to him, sitting there, just looking.

She slid the hand down his neck, and placed it at the middle of his chest, right over his heart, expecting the heartbeats to be slow and boring. Instead she was met by lots of fast beats. She looked at her hand, then back at Severus. "**Is this..?**" she asked, not being able to finish her sentence. Severus nodded slowly. Lily looked down at the hand again. It was beating really fast.

Lily closed her eyes and closed the small gap between their lips. There was no way to describe what was running through her body. It was like a lot of small sparks floated between the two of them, everywhere bare skin touched.

She heard a small sigh, coming from Severus' mouth. Severus started kissing her back, slowly. Apparently, he was in no hurry. Severus crawled forward, untangling himself from his cowers, and suddenly, Lily was pinned on her back, with Severus looming over her.

Lily wasn't thinking straight. Her body had taken over long ago, even though her brain kept screaming at her to slow down. But this was too good. It _felt _too good. Severus broke her thinking by biting her gently in her bottom lip. Lily gave a muffled sound, not being able to decide if it was a moan or a sigh, and took a firm grip at his shoulder with one hand, still holding the other at his chest.

Severus stopped kissing her, to Lily's surprise. "**Stay here tonight.**" He whispered. "**You know I can't do that.**" Lily found the roles traded. Now she was the rational. "**Yes you can. Just for a couple of hours. I'll make sure we get up, so you can get safely back to the tower**"

Severus took her hand, pulling her with him, as he returned to his place under the covers, with her arm around her. Lily let her get pulled, but didn't go under the covers. She just curled up, close to him, closed her eyes, and listened to his breathing.

**A/N: **Soeh.. What did you think? I bet you dirtyminded people thought there was going to be sex.. But No-ah.. Your gonna have to wait with that :3 And remember, I can always use constructive criticism. ^^


	8. Mea Culpa

**A/N:** Im sorry for the long waiting. This is going to be a short chapter.. I've just not been feeling so inspired lately.. Alsy why it havnt gotten up earlier :3 I'll try and make it better next time..!

Lily woke up, because someone shifted beside her. She realized where she was and was suddenly completely awake. What time was it? Lily looked around the bedroom, and saw a small clockwork, in the other end of the room. 3:58 am. Didn't Severus say that he would wake her? How long did he expect her to stay there? Lily sat op in the bed, slowly removing Severus right arm from her stomach.

She got out of the huge bed, but it took some effort. It was a high bed, because when she threw her legs over the bedside, she couldn't reach the floor. She slid down the side until she could reach the floor, and stood up, immediately feeling the captured feeling, you wake up with, after sleeping dressed. She prayed that the bed wouldn't make any sounds. It didn't, and Severus seemed to be sleeping heavily.

She took her shoes and was just about to open the living room door, when she heard a strange sound, come from the clockwork. Severus made a growling sound, apparently waking up. Lily considered the possibility of just leaving, but then thought again, and stood still.

She looked silently, with her hand on the doorknob, as he woke up. It wasn't going as fast as it had, a few hours earlier. "**Good morning**" Lily said. He sat slowly up, looking at her, then at the shoes in her hand, and then finally to the other hand, holding the doorknob. "**I didn't want to wake you. But apparently, I did anyway.**" Lily said, because of lack of words. She knew it looked really bad, her just leaving without saying anything.

"**No.. No you didn't. Alarm.**" He said with a hoarse voice. Lilys lips twitched. Oh. And she had assumed that he wasn't planning on waking her. Severus reached out a hand. "**You can stay a little longer.**" Lily took the hand, dropping the shoes in her hand. She really couldn't, but one last kiss wouldn't hurt.

Lily bent in, and kissed him on the mouth. She flinched back, because a sharp pain came from her lips. She lifted the free hand up to touch her lips. It felt like she had gotten a wound. "**You bit me.**" She said, trying not to sound accusing. "**Yesterday.**"He said. "**I bit you **_**yesterday**_**. Apparently, you're a slow healer, if I may say so.**" Lily remembered him biting her, but she didn't thought it had been that hard.

"**Oh, shut up.**" She said, annoyed and leaned in, to steal a kiss from him, before he could say anything back at her. After she was sure he wasn't going to say anything, she stopped the kiss and rested her forehead on his and closed her eyes.

"**You know I can't stay any longer.**" Lily gently whispered. She could hear him sigh. She untangled her hand from his and stood up again. She put on her shoes and gave him a little smile. "**I'll see you later, hm?**" she said, opening the door. "**You can't tell anyone.**" He said behind her.

Lily knew what he meant. And seriously, how dumb did he think she was? She turned around. "**I know that.**" She said a bit harsh. "**I'm sure you do.**" He shot back. "**But **_**please,**_" Lily never thought she would hear the word please, come from his mouth. He didn't exactly strike her as the please-type. "**Don't. I have no intentions of ending this, therefore no one must know.**" He continued. "**I know.**" Lily just repeated. She took one glance at him over her shoulder and walked out of his quarters.

Lily had no problem getting back to her dormitory. Apparently, even Filch and ghosts sleep at 4 a.m. in the morning. Lily took the shoes off, outside the dormitory door, so that she wouldn't make any noise, and got over to her bed. Just as she was about to pull up her covers, she heard Ginnys tired voice. "**Where have you been?**" Lily had thought about this, on her way to the dormitory. "**Fell asleep on the couch. You saw.**" She said. Ginny didn't say anymore.

It took Lily awhile to fall asleep, so when Ginny woke her up, what seemed to be 4 minutes later, she just turned. "**Lily. You can't sleep anymore. We're having Potions.**" Oh right. They were. Lily sighed and sat up. "**What happened to your lip?**" Ginny asked. Lily touched the bruised lip lightly. "**I bit myself.**" She lied. Ginny just smiled at her false clumsiness and turned around to get her books.

Lily changed her clothes fast, and grabbed her books, following Ginny down at breakfast.

:-:

Severus hadn't slept since she'd left. He had slowly sat himself up, having too many thoughts in his head to do anything. He had asked her to stay, and she had accepted. How the hell was he supposed to keep a clean face at class today?

This had obviously been a mistake.. But there was nothing to do about it now. Severus knew she intrigued him, because she looked exactly like her mother, but on some points, she was nothing like her. He was stubborn, shy and seemed to think a lot about all of her moves. He feared that he had might start to fall in love with Lily Potter. But it was on a wrong base. And even he wasn't that cruel.

Severus got out of bed, going out to his desk, opening a drawer and finding a picture of Lily Evans. He looked at her, as she moved in the frame. It was a picture from the 6th year. She was smiling from behind a cauldron.

Severus remembered clearly when it was taken. Severus had just received a magical camera from his mother, and started taking pictures. He and Lily was a part of the Elixirclub, and that day, they held a meeting. Lily had been smiling upgivingly at him, when he had started taking pictures, but had let him. And this was the result.

Severus touched the frame of the picture. "**I'm sorry.**" He said to the picture, as asking Lily for forgiveness. "_**Mea culpa.**_" He whispered and kissed the picture.

**A/N:** Mea culpa = My mistake, if anyone don't know. ^^


	9. Bloody Acting

**A/N: **Finally! I am actually quite happy with this chapter despite having to force it out of me. **Rating went a bit up** in this, and I'm setting the rating of the entire story to M instead of T. Enjoy, and remember to review!

Lily took a deep breath, as she entered the Potions classroom. She wasn't worried, about anyone noticing. She could restrain herself from jumping at him.

It was him, she was worried about. Severus had given her plenty of examples to show her, that he wasn't all that rational, when it came to her. She sat beside Ginny with a sigh. "**Something wrong?**" Ginny asked lowly. "**Its nothing.. Just.. Don't feel like having Potions right now.**" It was kind of true. Lily wasn't in the mood for potions, if Severus was the one to teach her. Lily sighed again, and looked thoughtfully on Severus, as he stepped in the classroom, from a door in the end of the class.

Nothing. His face showed _nothing_. Not even those black eyes, showed anything! It wasn't a bad thing, but Lily had at least hoped for the fire in the eyes, to keep herself calm for the next 1½ hours.

"**Today, you are making Shrinking Potion. You will see that it will, as the name says, shrink things, but it can also rewind the aging process.**" Severus said coldly. He wasn't looking at her. In fact, it looked like he was avoiding her eyes. There was a deep silence in the classroom for another 30 seconds, before Severus continued. "**The instructions are on page 67 in your books. You may start.**"

The room started summing with people, first looking into the books, and then shortly after, you could hear the sound of people starting chopping up the daisy root. Lily took up her silver-blade knife, and started doing the same. She looked up at Severus from time to time, not really focusing on the knife in her hand.

Ginny had started adding the other ingredients, and was only waiting for the daisy root, when Lily cut herself. It didn't hurt all that much. Lily did just suddenly feel a small pain in the palm of her hand that made her dropped the knife out of pure surprise. "**Lily! You're bleeding!**" Ginny bursted. "**It's nothing. It doesn't hurt.**" She took the hand up to her face, to examine it.

It was a clean cut, from the base of her thumb, to the middle of the palm. The remains of the daisy root that had been on the knife stung a little, but all in all, it was okay. Blood was streaming down her wrist and down her arm. Without thinking, Lily led the hand up to her mouth, and sucked the blood off of the wound.

It tasted _horrible_. Daisy roots wasn't poisonous, Lily knew that, but the taste was just.. _iurgk!_ Not that she particular liked blood in the first place. Lily made a grimace and looked up.

The first thing she saw was Severus' stunned face. Lily could only guess, that he had seen her suck the blood off of her wound. Lily blinked, and licked the remaining blood on her lips off, without showing any facial expressions.

They stood and looked at each other, before Ginny poked Lily on the shoulder. "**Uuuhm.. Lily? Whats going on?**" Lily blinked again, and realized that the entire classroom was staring at the two of them.

"**Nothing.**" She simply said, looking back down on the chopped daisy roots, pretending that nothing had happened. Lily found a cloth in her bag, and rolled it around the hand. She would go to the hospital wing, after class. "**Daisy roots now?**" Lily asked. Ginny nodded slowly, taking a small peek at Severus, that had pulled himself together by now. He was now snaring at one of the other Gryffindors.

When the class was over, Lily hurried to get out, before Severus could stop her. When she was up at the entrance hall, she wrapped her hand out of the cloth, and examined the cut once more. It wasn't bleeding anymore, but it was going to take some time to heal. Lily decided not to go to the hospital wing. Despite her being magical, she actually enjoyed feeling the healing process.

Lily knew she had a bandage up in her trunk. She had brought lots of muggle things with her actually. She liked muggles. They lived simple, without all of the magic. Although, Lily must admit, magic had its good sides. Like Quidditch. Lily wasn't good at it, but she enjoyed playing it, and that was all that counted.

Lily had to hurry, if she wanted to get up at the dormitory to fetch the bandage, if she wasn't going to be late at Muggle Studies. She made it though. Easily actually. Ginny had been right. Going to Hogwarts was wonderful exercise.

As she sat beside Ginny, in the classroom, the first question was asked quickly. "**What happened between you and Snape?**" she asked. Lily shrugged. "**Nothing . I guess he's just not used to people sucking blood.**" She said, and then immediately discovered the error in the sentence. She started laughing, and Ginny joined her.

Then the teacher came, and they had to listen to her talking about how the train-system works. Then charms, where they learned about some of the basic defense spells, and then there was no more hours that day.

At the end of the charms lesson, professor Flitwick, stopped Lily, before she could go. "**Oij, Lily.**" Lily paused in her movement of taking her bag. Ginny looked from Flitwick, to Lily and gave her a small smile. "**See you later, hm?**" she said, and left.

Lily blinked and looked at the small professor. "**Have I done something wrong, Sir?**" Lily asked. Professor Flitwick gave a small chuckle. "**Oh, no. Or.. At least not in my class. You're doing excellent!**" he said with a smile that was way too big for his size. "**But Professor Snape asked me to inform you, that you have detention with him tonight at eight.**" Detention? What the hell? Lily hadn't done anything wrong.

Lily just nodded, not thinking of anything to say, and turned around, and started walking up to the common room. As she sat down in the sofa, between Harry and Ron, Ginny asked her; "**So? What did he want?**" Lily blinked and looked at her, "**I'm having detention tonight. With Professor Snape.**" She said coldly. Lily ignored the nervous glance, she got from Hermione. There was no need for him to give her detentions for no reason. A especially not for cutting herself! "**What? Why should he care that you cut yourself?**" Lily shrugged her shoulders. "**Beats me.. **"

Despite all, Lily found herself down at the dungeons, knocking the classroom door, at eight p.m. sharp. Severus opened and Lily bursted. "**What the hell Severus? Why did you give me a det-**" "**Shut up, and sit down.**" He said, turning her back on her, going to the shelves, looking for something.

Lily raised an eyebrow, but did as she was told, closing the door behind her. Severus seemed to find what he was looking for, and sat a small jar with yellow goo inside it, on the table, and sat beside her. "**Let me see your hand.**" he said, and was about to reach out for the injured hand. "**No.**" Lily said and shook her head. She understood what it was, that he wanted. "**You're gonna let it heal by itself. Without magic.**" She continued. "**Now, why on earth would yo-**" he started. "**Without magic.**" Lily repeated and cut him off.

Severus looked irritated, but nodded. He looked intrigued at her hand, and then suddenly stated; "**You have no idea how hard it was, restraining myself when you.. You know.**" He nodded towards the hand. _'Restraining himself'_? It hadn't been _that_ deep, nothing to worry about. "**Nothing happened. It's not serious. It'll heal in a couple of days.**" She said slowly. "**It wasn't what I meant.**" He said. Oh.. _that.. _And it had made him..? _Oh!_ Lily could feel her blush and looked down at her lap. Had Severus really found that.. sexy?

"**I'm sorry.**" Lily finally said, forcing herself to look back at him. "**Don't be.**" He said very softly. The burning coals were back in his eyes. Lily smiled half, only moving on side of the mouth. She touched his cheek with the not injured hand and leaned forward on the chair to kiss him. She gently bit his lip, like he had bitten hers the day before.

"**Can I sleep here tonight again?**" Lily whispered into his ear as she broke the kiss. She could feel him nod, and she rose. "**Bed?**" she asked and looked at him. "**Lily, I don't think we should. You're not ready.**" He started. "**I'll decide when I'm ready. And I didn't mean it like that. I just.. Like your bed.**" She said, hearing how stupid she sounded. Severus' lips twitched and then rose himself.

He led her out off the classroom by the backdoor, and then finding herself standing in the bedroom within second, being kissed fiercely by Severus. He led her to the bed, both dropping their shoes in the process. He quickly had her pinned her under him, like he had last night, but instead of just letting him kiss her this time, she raised her knee experimentally and rubbed the knee against his crouch.

She could feel him getting hard in an instance, if he wasn't already, just by them kissing. Severus made a surprised sound as the knee touched, but Lily had a strong grip at his shoulders, and didn't let him break the kiss, although Lily was sure that he was perfectly capable of breaking it if he wanted to.

Severus had started to moan in the same rhythm, that Lily was rubbing the crouch, and found herself smiling stupidly in the kiss. Severus kissed her up the cheek, kissing in circles under her ear, until he suddenly bit her in the earlobe, causing Lily to jerk her knee upwards. She didn't hit him very hard in the crouch, because he made a loud sound, and then she could feel something soak through the fabric of the pants, that she had put on, just an hour ago.

Had she just made him..? Oh yes she had. Severus got his breathing under control, and reached for his wand. He mumbled something that sounded like "**Vanesco**." And then Lily could feel her knee being dry again.

Severus lay down beside her and pulled her close. Lily swallowed and lay and arm on his waist. He was saying something before she drifted off to sleep, but she was already too far away, to hear what it was.


	10. The Stupidest Thing

_**A/N;**__ This chapter is a little different. The first scene, is something that should have been in the last chapter, but I didn't wanted to edit it in, since not everyone reads that. But oh well, in the middle, the "real" chapter starts. Don't worry. You won't miss it ^^ And by the way, I'm not going into details in the whole sex thing anyways. I might add a sex-scene later, but for now, it is quite.. safe.. xD _

_Btw, Don't worry! I AM finishing this story! Im just not that inspired atm :P But hopefully, that'll soon change! This chapter might not be awesome, but at least its something.. I have no idea what to write.. ^^' ANY IDEAS ARE WELCOME! _

**The Stupidest Thing To Say**

It had been a stupid thing to say. Severus could only hope, that she hadn't heard. He could hear her breathing getting more deep and slow, proving that she had fallen to sleep. Severus swallowed hard, making those silly words sink right back till its rightful place. His heart. He looked down at her. She would figure it out soon. All of it. No doubt about that.

Severus pushed the thought away and kissed her lightly on the forehead and closed his eyes. He fell to sleep with the scent of her hair.

At exactly 4 am. Severus woke her up. "**Ngg! Not yet.**" Was all Lily said, causing Severus to smile an unnoticeable smile. "**You have to.**" He whispered. Lily shook her head, still keeping her eyes shut.

Severus gave her 3 more minutes before pushing her hand aside and stood up. "**Now.**" He whispered in her ear. Lilys hands found his neck and pulled him forward, making him fall ontop of her. She greedily pushed her lips against his. She eventually broke the kiss and led her mouth to his ear and bit his earlobe like he had bitten her last night. "**Are you sure?**" she purred in his ear.

As much as Severus wanted to say 'No', he knew he had to stand his ground. "**Yes. Right now.**" He said very slowly, trying his best not to show that he wanted the opposite. Lily sighed, letting him get out of the bed. She got out of it and took her shoes on. She grabbed the door knob to the livingroom and took one last look on Severus. "**See you tonight.**" She just said, not even asking and then she was gone.

The snow fell early that year. Already the 15th of November. Lily loved snow. She felt like a 4 year-old again. The last month had been one of the best months of her life. She had been introduced to Hogwarts, her brother and ofcourse, Severus.

The mere thought of him made Lily smile. 3 or 4 times a week, Lily would go down to him, when everyone else was sleeping, sometimes even earlier, with the excuse, that she wanted to study in the library before going to sleep. Hermione was still the only one that knew.

There had been no actual sex involved yet. Lily was more than ready, but every time she tried, Severus had just put on that serious mine and said something like; "Not tonight" or "You're not ready". And every single time, Lily had objected to no use, and it made her crazy! He never made any good reasons, why it shouldn't happen.

She sighed slowly at her place in the window. She sat with her back leaned up against the stone frame and looked out. It was dark outside, but the light at the Quidditch pitch, revealed that Hufflepuffs team was snow fighting instead of actual practice. Lily looked down at her History of Magic-essay. She was never going to finish this! She then looked at the clock. 9 pm. There was still an hour or so until she could go down to Severus.

Lily sighed at the clock and went down to the library. She positioned herself at the far end of the library, on the floor between two bookcases, not wanted to be bothered. She had her essay and her book. She started reading the book. It was quite important that the essay was done tonight.

After 30 minutes, she was actually pretty far. She now needed to write some sort of conclusion to it, and then she was done. Lily rubbed her eyes and sighed again. She was tired. She hadn't exactly gotten a lot of sleep lately. The teachers had given a lot of homework, because of the vacation next month. She leaned up against the bookshelf. _Just five minutes.. _

A firm hand was placed on her shoulder followed by a low whisper. "**Lily..?**" Lily knew that voice all too well. She opened her eyes slowly and looked in to those black eyes. She blinked to get her eyes to focus. "**.. Time is it?**" she asked. "**A little past eleven.**" He answered. A little past eleven. The library would be empty by now. Lily looked tiredly at him. "**What are you doing here..?**" He was supposed to be down at the dungeons by now. "**You said you would be joining me tonight, but you never showed, so I wanted to do some research of a potion Albus asked me to make.**" Severus had been more honest with her, as they had been together longer, but Lily wasn't buying that excuse. He had been looking for her.

She didn't say anything but just nodded. She padded on the floor beside her and he sat down. A minute of silence followed and then Lily asked; "**Why won't you sleep with me?**" she could see Severus stiffen beside her. A long silent pause followed, and that made Lily a little angry. Why wouldn't he answer?

After 5 minutes of not answering, Lily shook her head angrily and stood up. She picked up the book and the almost-done essay and started to walk away. When she reached the library door, Severus' voice reached her. "**I am sorry.**" That made Lily freeze. 'Im sorry'? Lily had never heard him say that to anyone. Lily turned around. It wasn't an explanation, but it was okay for now. She walked towards him but stopped a couple of steps from him. "**Say that again.**" She said. He might think it was an odd request, but Lily really wanted him to.

He looked at her with furrowed brows, but obeyed none the less."**I am sorry.**" Lily smiled mysteriously. "**Right.**" She just said, turned on her heels and walked out the library.

:-:

What had that meant? Severus had been left in the middle of the library. He blinked and replayed the situation inside his head. Had he done anything bad? Not as far as he could recall. Severus pulled himself together and walked down to his quarters. He sighed and walked into his bedroom, starting to go to bed. As he got under the covers and lay down, just about to close his eyes so he could sleep, he saw Lily standing in the doorway.

:-:

He sat back up and looked at her. She looked back at him and then moved forward onto the bed. _Don't let him stop you._ She reminded herself in her head. She positioned herself on top of him and kissed him longingly on the mouth and pushed the covers down, so they revealed his pyjamaspants. She led her hand to his pants, making her intentions obviously. Severus broke the kiss, but Lily didn't wanted to, so she started kissing him up and down the neck until she found the spot that she had found a couple of weeks ago. It made him worse at rejecting her. "**Lily.. Please listen to me.**" Lily pushed him back, and looked irritated at him. "**No. You listen to **_**me**_**. I am sick of you stopping me every single time. You are not stopping me now, because I **_**know**_**, you want it too! Okay?**" she said returning to kissing his neck. That seemed to shock Severus a little bit, because he didn't say anything.

Lily took off her Gryffindors robes and threw it down on the floor, causing her to sit in a t-shirt with a v-cut and jeans. She had gotten used to having muggles clothing on under the robes. It made her feel more comfortable. There was no doubt, that Severus let her take control. In some way, Lily got disappointed, because he wasn't really showing the same enthusiasm as she was. But on the other hand, she knew he had some barriers to brake, and if that meant she had to take control the first time, then that's how it was going to be.

Lily slid her hand up under his shirt and up his chest. She leaned in and kissed him while doing so. She pulled his t-shirt up over his head, only breaking the kiss while she had to. She kissed him down the neck and down his chest. Sure, she didn't have much practice.. Well.. Actually she didn't have any practice what so ever, but everything seemed so _natural_, and Lily knew exactly what to do.

She returned to his mouth and found it quite comically, that he was just lying there. "**You have to make an effort. Even though you don't want to.**" She purred in his ear. She knew he wanted it. He wanted it very much. He was doing a good job hiding it if it had been anything else, but Lily was looking right through him.

She pulled off her own t-shirt and kissed him again. He made a growling sound and rolled the two of them over.


	11. All I Want For Christmas

_**A/N; **__Merry Christmas Everyone! _

When Lily woke up, her first thought was the lack of clothes. She then remembered where she was and what had happened the night before. Lily untangled herself from Severus and looked at the clock. 3:30. She could might as well get up now. She was about to swing one of her legs over the bedside, but it hurted too much in her abdomen. She got surprised and gave out a loud moan of pain. Lily freezed in the position she was in; she had her left leg half over the bedside and had pulled the other leg slightly up. She closed her eyes and bit her lip. It didn't hurt when she didn't move. That was why it had caught her by surprise.

The sound had woken up Severus, that had now sat up beside her. He sat up and looked at her. "**Does it hurt badly?**" he asked concerned. Severus had apparently known that it would hurt afterwards too, but Lily wasn't aware of it. It had hurt a little bit at first yesterday, but when she had gotten used to it, she hadn't noticed it further. She hadn't felt like he was.. Too big for her. Just the thought made Lily blush. Lily opened her eyes and nodded. "**But only when I move.**" She said. "**Sit still then.**" He said and got out of the bed. He was quick to get some pants on and gave Lily her underwear and t-shirt. Lily put on the bra and t-shirt but glanced at the bottoms. How the hell was she supposed to get these on without having to torture herself?

Severus had left the room for some reason, so Lily threw the cowers off of her and leaned forwards as far as she could. She could, with some difficulties, get them on like that. Although, when she reached the part where they had to get up over her hips, it hurt, and it hurt like hell. She exhaled and pulled them up quickly. Severus returned with a small cup filled with a light green fluid. "**Drink this.. It'll help.**"

It tasted a bit like honey, which made her smile a little bit. Only had she emptied the cup, when she started to feel a weird feeling. She daringly moved her leg a little back. A bit sore, but it wasn't all that bad. She separated her legs a few centimeters and still no pain. She smiled and looked up at Severus. "**Thank you..**" she said. Severus stood there at the end of the bed and slowly said; "**No need to thank me. It was my fault.**" Lily rolled her eyes and looked at him. "**Would you just stop that? I **_**wanted**_** this!" **she said harshly. She padded on the bed beside her. "**Come here.**" Severus obeyed. "**Why does it always seem that you are ashamed about being with me? There is **_**nothing **_**to be ashamed over.**" She draw invisible patterns with her hands, in the palm of his, while saying it.

He didn't say anything, so Lily finished everything of by giving him a kiss on the cheek. Seems like she was never going to have a real conversation with him. "**See you later..**" she whispered and got up and took her clothes on. Before she left, Severus kissed her slowly on the mouth and whispered those words that Lily hated to say that she loved to hear from him. "**I am sorry.**"

:-:

Lily had never been happier. She couldn't stop herself from smiling and could swirl herself around in the middle of the hallways. Nothing could get her off the huge fluffy cloud that she was on. Sometimes during the evening, she would close her eyes and dream that he was right beside her. The only small thundercloud in the future was the Christmas holidays.

It was going to be alright. Neither Lily nor Severus made a fuss about it, because they were going to see each other again. Although, Lily was sure that she was facing two very looong weeks. He was opening more up. Lily was sure of that, although it started to worry her, that they never just talked. Lily was curious about him and his past. She wanted to know more about him.

She was going to wait until after Christmas though. Lily was holding her Christmas at Grimauld Place together with Sirius, the Weasleys and Lupin. It was going to be a lot of people to keep track off at once, but Lily was sure she was going to handle it.

But the day before Christmas, when she stood before the small door, she started to get very nervous. She stopped Harry as he was going to enter."**Harry.. I.. I don't think I can go in there.**" Harry paused. "**Why not?**" He asked. Lily exhaled slowly. "**I.. I remember how weird it was, just meeting you. And now I'm going to meet a lot of people.. I know they're important to you bu-**"she started but got interrupted by Harry. "**Don't worry. I understand why you don't want to, but in a few days, they'll be important to you too. It is not going to be that hard. And if you're uncomfortable, find me. Mmkay?**" Lily nodded. It didn't comfort her, but she had come to know Harry well enough over the last few months to know that he thought this was very important. He didn't interrupt her. Ever.

Harry opened the door and entered with his suitcase rolling behind him. Lily stood still on the doorstep and listened. A few seconds after Harry had entered, Lily could hear a womans voice call his name happily and an older woman came into eyesight. She had a nice face and orange hair. Lily guessed it was Ginny and Ron's mother. Ginny looked a little bit like her. Mrs. Weasley hugged Harry like had it been her own son and smiled at him. "**Oh, you've grown since the last time I saw you, haven't you?**" Lily couldn't help but smile. Yes.. It looked a lot like Harry had found a substitute to a mother.

She stood and smiled goofily at herself until Harry's voice pulled her thoughts down to the ground again. "**… My sister, Lily.**" Mrs. Weasley turned to look at her. "**Come in, come in, my dear! No need to stand out there in the cold.**" Lily stepped inside, the door closed automatically behind her, making her feel like she was in some parody of a muggle horror movie. "**.. Hello..**" she said.

Fortunately, she didn't hug her. Lily wasn't all that good with hugs. Sure, she and Dumbledore had hugged once in a while, but it had never been something that she had looked forward too. Lily took off her jacket and walked after Harry and Mrs. Weasley into what seemed to be a living room. She recognized Remus and Sirius from some pictures Dumbledore had given her a few years ago.

Harry hugged Sirius with a lot of affection. He seemed to care for him very much. Lily positioned herself up against the doorframe and studied Sirius. So he was Harry's godfather. Lily didn't have a godfather, because her very existence had been one big secret. Harry hugged Remus afterwards, not so deeply though.

Sirius was the first one to notice Lily. He stood up quickly and was over to stand before her in no time. "**Wow.. You look just like Lily..**" he said, fascinated. Lily knew what he meant but shot off a bad joke; "**It's because I am Lily..?**" She knew it was a bad joke, but Sirius laughed none the less. "**You've inharrited your dads bad sense of humor.**" That made Lily smile. "**Come and sit down.**" He said, leading the way to the sofa. Lily smiled weakly at Harry that disappeared out of another door in the other end of the room. From what Lily could see, it was the kitchen.

Remus put forward his hand to say hello, "**Hi.. My name is Re-**""**Remus. And Sirius. I know. Dumbledore showed me a picture of the two of you once..**" They both smiled. "**Don't believe everything he says. Its not **_**all**_** true**" Sirius said and laughed. Lily giggled nervously. This was going okay, but she could sure use someone she knew. Like Harry. Or Ginny. Or Severus.. Oh yes. Severus. He had the ability to make her relax at any given time. _Oh, not now, Lily!_

"**So, Lily, do you like the teachers?**" Sirius asked her smilingly. Lily nodded happily. "**Yes.. I like all of them.**" She replied softly. "**Good. Have Snape been treating you all right?**" he continued. Lily kept her blush to the minimal. She couldn't afford for him to find out, so she just answered; "**Yes.. Why wouldn't he..?**" "**Snape never liked Potters.. But then again.. Maybe he has a soft spot for you. It's because you look just like your mother. He had a crush, if not more, on her.. He got pissed when she chose James.**" he said.

… Huh? He had had a crush on her mother..? But that was.. WHAT!


	12. Crash

_**A/N; **__Yes, this is also, quite a messy chapter.. A lot of things are happening, but that was this week's inspiration, and now I have something 'easy' to write on from.. :P _

_HAPPY NEW YEAR GUYS!_

* * *

Lilys entire world crashed in just three seconds. Severus… and.. her mother? Lily breathed slowly. She felt her eyes prickle and closed them until it stopped. Although her eyes were shut, she could feel the entire room spinning around her. She gently bit her lips and took another deep breath, trying to keep that anger that was starting to bubble inside of her, under control. She had completely shut out all sound until Sirius grabbed one of her shoulders and lightly shook it.

She opened her eyes very slowly and looked into two friendly eyes. "**Are you okay Lily?**" Sirius asked. Lily just shook her head. No. She was not okay. Actually, she was as far from '_okay_' humanly possible. Lily stood up and walked out the room without saying anything to any of the two men. She walked out the front door and slammed it behind her. _He was just.. just… USING her! As a substitute for her mother!_ Lily walked angrily away from Grimauld Place, not really caring where she went.

She ended up on a playground a far away from the house. Lily sat down on the grass. She could feel her whole body tingle with rage. She had never felt so angry and sad at the same time. She gave out a frustrated loud sound that made the one other kid on the playground look frightened at her.

How could he do such a thing to her? Lily had been his. She had had sex with him! The thought made Lily feel like vomiting, fortunately she didn't because Lily wasn't sure if she could handle it, if she did. Lily was sure that they had had something special. Something worth putting up with a lot of things for. And now, it tunred out that everything had just been one huge lie!

Lily's heart and brain was fighting over what emotion to dominate inside of Lily. Her head told her to be angry. Why wouldn't she? He had lied to her to her face. Her heart wanted her to be sad because she had just had her heart broken, for the very first time. And she had really loved him, she really had.

Oh.. This was just too much for her. She needed to talk to him. Soon.

Lily exhaled and leaned forward so her head was between her two knees, like she was going to crash-land in an airplane. She took a deep breath and then let the tears run freely.

She sat like that in god-knows-how-long before she could hear someone sit beside her. Lily could smell a light smell of raspberries and knew it was Hermione. She always wore that perfume, and Lily loved her for it. Hermione, still haven't said a thing, lay her arm around Lilys shoulders and pulled her against her. Lily kept crying, and Hermione kept saying nothing as long as she did.

Lily got her silent crying under control after a little bit and raised her head. Lily felt… Empty. Yes. There was no other way of describing it. She felt hollow and felt that somewhere, it really didn't matter at all. She looked at Hermione, which looked back with a look full of sympathy. "**I'm sorry.**" Hermione whispered. "**Did you know?**" Lily said. Her voice was hoarse and barely hearable. Hermione shook her head. "**No.. But I knew what was wrong after Sirius told us what you'd been talking about.**"

There was an awkward pause in the conversation. Neither of them had any idea of how to continue the conversation and when Lily sneak peeked at Hermione it seemed as she was lost in thoughts. "**I really am sorry.**" Hermione then ended up saying. Lily nodded. "**Yes.. So am I. I really thought…**" Lily trailed off.. There was no way she was going to finish that sentence. It would just make everything much worse than it already was.

"**I know. So did i**" Hermione said quitly. "**I've been paying a lot more attention to the two of you over the last couple of months**." Lily looked at her quietly. "**You should see the looks you can send each other sometimes. So full of passion.. So full of… **_**Love.**_" Yes. Hermione Granger was indeed a very smart witch. Lily leaned her cheek on her knee, facing Hermione and then added something to Hermione's sentence. "**Like when Ron looks at you.**"

Hermione looked down. You could tell she was blushing and smiling a little bit. A soundless 'Yes' ran over her lips. Hermione looked back at Lily. "**How do you feel?**"

"**Empty. I don't know If I care anymore.**" Lily said. Hermione and Severus were the only two people Lily had been honest with all the way through, and she was not going to change that now that she needed one of them more than ever. "**It will pass.. I know the feeling**" Hermione said, not wanting to explain where she knew it from.

Lily nodded once and looked forward. It was a pretty place she had found actually. Green grass filled the place and there was all sorts of trees. Who knew something so beautiful could be in the middle of a city? Although Hermione was with her, Lily suddenly felt very alone. She would have to cope with Severus when she returned to the castle in 3 days.

Lily stood up. "**We better get back.. right?**" Hermione nodded and stood up with her. "**We should. Molly will kill you if she's not getting the pleasure to stuff you with food.**" That made Lily smile weakly. Somehow, that one line made Lily feel that the rest of the day would be great..

Oh could she have been more wrong.

* * *

Hermione had been right, Lily concluded as she lay in her bed that evening. She had never been so full in her entire life. Molly Weasley had presented a 3 course meal and it had all tasted so good, that Lily had had to go twice. Lily had pushed Severus far back in her mental priority so she only felt full and tired. That was why it didn't take long for her to fall asleep.

* * *

Lily woke up, because of something hurting on her cheek. She opened her eyes and looked right up into a woman's dark eyes, which she didn't recognize. It wasn't the fact that there was a stranger in her bedroom that freaked Lily out. It was more the very evil smile on that stranger and the fact that she had the tip of her wand pressed against Lily's cheek.

"**Say a word, and I **_**will**_** kill you.. And that wouldn't be fun for either of us, would it?**" the strangers voice was high and sort of strict and pressed her wand more brutal into Lilys cheek while saying so. Lily considered going for her own, but she didn't dare. There was too far to her dresser, and Lily did not dare do anything. "**So this is the famous Lily Potter, hm?**" Lily didn't reply. Who the hell was she? The stranger sat on the side of Lilys bed, still holding the wand firmly at Lilys cheek.

The evil grin got wider, lips preparing to form a word and Lily closed her eyes quickly for what was coming. Lily barely heard the word "**Crucio**" before the pain was everywhere. Lily couldn't decide where her body _was_. Everything was just… pain. It went black before her eyes and Lily screamed as loud as she could and started cramping. The stranger positioned herself on top of Lily and felt Lilys body shake beneath her before stopping the curse. It looked like she was actually enjoying this!

"**An eye for an eye.**" The stranger uttered. What the hell was she talking about? Lily hadn't done anything! "**You see.. Your **_**friends,**_" she spat out the words friends as it was something disguisting, "**Has taken something from me. Someone I loved. It is only fair that I return the favor.**" Someone she loved? "**CRUCIO!**" The pain was back and Lily forgot the thought and started screaming again.

Somewhere beyond the pain and the scream, Lily heard a brutal sound. It sounded like someone had just thrown a metal bucket at a glass window. The curse was ended and the stranger looked backwards at the door opening. "**Ah. Harry Potter.. Have you come to enjoy the show?**" the stranger said and then Lily could hear her brother yell "**Get off of her, Bellatrix.**" Bellatrix..? The name said something, but Lily was in no condition to remember anything."**Or else what? You seem to have a small problem coming inside the door.**" Bellatrix said and laughed.

Lily raised her head as much as she could and could see some kind of red veil that filled the entire door opening. Apparently it was some kind of shield. Bellatrix looked back at her. The fact that one of history's most powerful wizard was standing 3 meters from her apparently didnt bother her. She must have had a pretty good faith in the weird veil. Bellatrix was not going to stop, that was clear. Lily dropped her head down on the madras and closed her eyes. There was nothing else she could do.

Bellatrix whispered the word slow and tenderly this time as was she declaring her love, and again, the pain came and so did the scream. When that ended she could hear lots of noise from somewhere but Lily just didn't have any strength back. It was still darkening before her eyes and this time, Lily feared it wouldn't go away.

The last thing Lily heard before falling down her own mental abyss was the psychotic laugh of Bellatrix.


	13. And Burn

_**A/N; **__Oh my god! I feel like I've let you down the last week.. Im sorry! I'll try to update faster next time :3 _

Lily woke up but regretted immediately. Her whole body was terribly sore and she felt so… exhausted. As if she had just been out running several marathons in a row. She slowly opened her eyes and found herself looking up at an unfamiliar white attic. Lily was too tired and sore to move, so for now, this was good enough.

"**Lily?**" a very familiar and comforting voice said. It was Dumbledore. "**Ah.. You are awake. Let me help you.**" Dumbledore mumbled something and slowly, the head of the bed, started lifting. Lily gave out a small sound of pain because of the movement. "**I know, I know.**" Dumbledore said calmingly. Lily breathed slowly when she finally sat upright; this also gave her a chance to see the room she was in.

It was a white and very small room with a small window across from the door. It was probably a hospital room, because there wasn't any furniture in it besides a small wooden chair in the corner. "**You are at St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries**" Dumbledore said as he saw her eyes wander across the room.

Lily was about to ask, how long she had been there but when she tried to speak, all that came out was a silent hiss.

"**Shyss.**" Dumbledore said. "**I think your voice have been used enough for a few more days, don't you think?**" he continued mysteriously. Lily rolled her eyes at him and continued trying to make a sound. It succeded more or less. She was able to say something that _sounded_ like 'clock' and Dumbledore fortunately heard it the first time. "**Oh. It should be about 4 pm now. The 27****th****.**" The 27th! She had been out three days then! Lily tried to move her arms so she could get out of bed, but she couldn't. The arms just wouldn't liste and when they finally did, Lily stopped because of that stupid pain again."**Please do try not to move. A lot has happened. You should go back to sleep again. I'm sure you're still tired.**" Lily really didn't want to, but she really did feel exhausted. So Lily just nodded and managed a weak smile before her eyelids drifted shut and she was sleeping again.

:-:

When Lily woke up again, she felt much better. She wasn't as tired as last time she'd woken up, and since she didn't have that to worry about, she could now feel her stomach complain. Just as she thought the thought, a nurse entered the door, holding a tray of food. "**You must be really hungry.**" She said friendly and set the plate of food in front of Lily on a table that appeared out of nothing. Lily just nodded, feeling her neck complain about the movement. Lily ignored it and lifted her arm tryingly.

Lily grimaced because of the pain. Of course, the nurse saw that and smiled sympathetic. "**Don't worry. The pain should only be getting smaller from now on. You need some help?**" Lily just shook her head. She had to do this alone. So Lily ignored the pain as much as possible. Lily sighed heavily when she was finished. She had really needed that. She leaned heavily back while the nurse took the plate and left again, and the empty table vanished as quickly as it had gotten there.

The next few days went slowly and painful. The first day after, Lily was still in pain, but she was able to go to the bathroom on her own, as she had no problem eating. The next day, she could go the entire day, only sleeping two hours once. The third day, the pain had started to reduce more, and Lily finally felt she could take care of herself. The Hospital of course didn't care about her protest about not needing anymore medical care. Dumbledore had visited her, a couple of times each day, and assured her every day, that she was able to get out of there soon. But as mentioned, the days went, and by New Years Eve, Lily was still there, only feeling a little sore. It was nice though. Harry, Dumbledore, Sirius and Remus came and kept her company. Dumbledore even made a spell, turning the clinical room into a room that had a huge soft couch, a fire place and the window on the wall wad become huge, showing the beautiful view of the muggle's firework outside.

She was supposed to start at Hogwarts two days after New Year, so Lily was eager to get out of the hospital. She did not want to miss Hogwarts because some healers were making a fuss about her.

She got her will. The day after New Year, she got the permission to go home. Dumbledore came and took her with him. Lily had never seen him so many times in such short period. _I should get cursed more often._ Lily thought and smiled as she changed into the Hogwarts robes, Dumbledore had brought her. Lily was not going back to Grimauld Place. Apparently Dumbledore didn't thought it was safe enough.

Lily didn't mind. She only remembered little parts from that night, but what she had remembered involved a lot of horrible pain, and that had tied a very bad memory to that house. Lily almost didn't care if she ever came back. It would only make everything worse than it already was. Before she was totally free to go, the nurse made her drink a potion. Lily sighed and drank the green fluid. It tasted familiar like honey and she could right away feel how her remaining soreness was reduced to a small uncomfortable tingle. It was the same potion that Se-.. _Severus.. _Lily had suppressed all thoughts of him.. and her mother. Lily looked down and tried to do that again, although she knew that she couldn't.

Dumbledore interrupted her train of thoughts. "**Let's get back to Hogwarts!**" Suddenly.. That didn't feel like the best idea.. But of course, there were little to do about that now, so she grabbed Dumbledore's arm and immediately felt the familiar feeling of being pushed through a rubber tube. That had been Dumbledore's preferred traveling way when she had lived with him. She exhaled heavily as they landed at Hogwarts' main gates. "**Are we all in one piece?**" Dumbledore asked jolly. Lily was sure he did that on purpose sometimes. Having the most stupid comments at the most inconvenience times. Although, there had been times where that ability showed itself to be a good thing. Like uncomfortable silences, when you were bored and even when you were sad sometimes. But now, it really annoyed Lily. She was not happy with the idea of standing in front of the home of her teacher, which happened to be the man she loved, which happened to be in love with her mother, which _happened_ to look exactly like Lily. Of course, it _happened_ to be Lily's home as well, but that was a minor detail at the moment. And having Dumbledore comment on it, did _not _match Lily's mood. So Lily just gave him a deathglare, which Dumbledore, being Dumbledore, of course just ignored and kept talking about everything in the most optimistic and jolly tone.

So, as you could imagine, Lily was thrilled when she got the say the magic words; "**I'm going to my dorm.**" and turn around to and go in the opposite direction of him. Lily took all the shortcuts she knew. She didn't wanted to have any chance of running into _him._ That involved a lot of paranoia from Lily. Constantly she looked herself over the shoulder to be sure _he_ wasn't there.

When she got there, Lily threw herself on her bed, ignoring the complaining tingles. She rolled over to her side and just started crying. She let go of all of the past week's events. She let Severus, Bellatrix, Not having a proper Christmas or New Year resurface. Lily hugged her pillow tightly and closed her eyes firmly shut.


	14. Shattered

**A/N: **_This took FOREVER to make.. I promise the next one will get there faster! Enjoy. _

Severus looked blankly into the fires. The table behind him was covered with all sorts of magical books that had any information about the Cruciatus curse in it. He had become obsessed with the healing of the curse since he had heard what had happened to Lily.

Severus closed his eyes and remembered the very clear conversation once more.

_Dumbledore looked at him with sad eyes. That in itself, scared Severus. Something very terrible must have happened, or else Dumbledore would have done everything in his power to try and keep a straight face. Severus blinked and asked very, very slowly; "__**What has happened?**__" A few seconds went by before the older man could pull himself together and answer. "__**Bellatrix found Lily.**__" _

_Severus blinked again. No. That wasn't right. But.. What had Bellatrix done? Was Lily still a- "__**Lily is in the hospital. Bellatrix used the cruciatus curse.**__" So she was alive.. At least physically. The mere thought hurt. Severus had seen what could happen to people that was tortured too long. They could wake up weeks later with an unclear mind. Nothing they said made sense. And there was nothing healers could do to change it. _

_Severus shook the thought out of his mind. "__**I'm going immediately.**__" Severus stated quickly realizing, that he was revealing way to much, but the headmaster just shook his head at him. "__**No Severus. You're staying. Lily has enough going on as it is. She doesn't need your presence right now, Severus**__" Dumbledore said. Oh yes. The man clearly knew more than Severus had feared he had."__**When did you know that..?**__" Severus didn't know how to finish that sentence without saying something he would regret later on. "__**It wasn't so hard if you knew what to look for.**__" Severus looked confused at him, so Dumbledore elaborated, "__**I have never seen a man look upon anyone with the look you sometimes shoot across the Great Hall.**__" _

_Of all the stupid things he could have said, he could see it in his _eyes_?_

_Oh well.. Since that was now out, Severus allowed himself to get a little clearer in what he meant. "__**You can't just expect me to sit here, waiting**__"Surely, Dumbledore would understand that. Since Lily had become Dumbledore's daughter in some extend during the years. But of course, Severus was being naive._

"_**Yes.**__" Dumbledore just stated. He left that word hanging in the air a minute or two before continuing; "__**Severus, I know that you have a very weak spot for Lily, but don't let it blind you. You are making Lily very happy, I know that. But people would surely notice a potions teacher going to visit a student, and that would shatter everything. And right now, I fear that you are the only bright spot in Lily's life.**__" _

Severus had hated him for that comment. It had made his stomach squirm of guilt. He hated the fact that he hadn't told Lily about Severus'… affection to her mother yet. How could a relationship that was build upon lies and old desires, be a something good? Of course, Lily didn't know that, and Severus was not entirely sure that he even wanted her too. If she knew the truth, there was a good chance, she wouldn't want to be with him anymore, and Severus couldn't stand another Lily rejecting him.

Severus sighed. He hadn't heard anything more about Lily since that conversation. It had been a lot to swallow at once. Dumbledore knew, and he didn't mind. In fact he encouraged it, which Severus found rather strange. Lily had been damaged by Bellatrix, and was now in the hospital, floating between insanity and sanity.

The fact that Severus didn't knew _anything_ made him feel even more helpless. Of course, he didn't know that Lily was in fact sleeping in the Gryffindor Tower at that very moment.

* * *

Lily woke up early next morning, but didn't feel like going out of bed. So Lily just pulled the covers up higher. The other students would get here today, and that would mean Harry, Ginny and Hermione's eyes filled with sympathy.

Sympathy was the last thing Lily needed at the moment. She really just needed to be herself and let the homework swallow her whole. She decided she was going do make herself busy today. Go to the library and… uhm.. catch up. Not that she needed to. Lily was getting Outstanding in most of her classes.

Nevertheless, Lily got up and headed for the library. She skipped breakfast. She was afraid that if she ate anything her stomach would make its threats of throwing up become real, and Lily did not need that today. Lily stopped by habit in front of the Potions-section. She blinked slowly and then decided to walk past it, going into the Astronomy-section.

Lily took down the first book coming to sight. "Muggles & Stars". Lily sighed loudly and leaned against the wall below the huge window at the end of the section. She turned to a random page at stared at the paper.

Lily had hoped she was safe at the library. Even Hermione didn't go there the first day after a vacation. But ofcourse.. How could she be so stupid to think so? A few hours after noon, she could hear footsteps. Lily stiffened and pressed herself up against the corner the wall and the bookcase made.

"**Lily? Are you in here?**" said Harry's voice. Lily could easily hear his nervousness, and she actually considered yelling '_Yes?_' but didn't. She needed to bee herself just a little bit longer. "**She's not here, mate.**" It was Ron's voice. "**Maybe outside?**""**Uhm.. Sur-**" *thunk*. It sounded like Harry walked into something. "**Watch were you're going, Potter.**" Snared yet another familiar voice that made Lily's blood run cold.

Severus.

Lily pressed her back against the wall and leaned against the bookcase, hoping that the small shadow would shield her. But.. Why should she hide? He was there for the Potion-books.. Right? Lily pulled her knees to her and bit her lower lip. What she wouldn't do to disappear at this very moment. She closed her eyes firmly, childishly thinking that there would be no way of seeing her.

Lily could hear Harry's mad mumbleling and footsteps fading. Then she heard a single pair of footsteps moving in her direction. Lily heard then faint slightly, only to stop completely after a few steps. Lily opened her eyes slowly and was relieved to see that he was not here. A sigh could be heard. Oh yes. He was at the other side of the bookcase.

There was a sigh more and a sort of scratching sound was made. Had Severus sat down? Lily found this quite odd, Severus was not the sitting-down-on-the-floor-type. (**A/N: **Lol.. Didn't knew what to write xD)

Yet ANOTHER pair of feet were heard. _Seriously, who goes on the library the first day after vacation? _Lily found herself thinking. Not realizing the irony of it.

"**Ah. Severus. I thought I would find you here.**" Dumbledore's slow and calming voice said. Ofcourse. Now there was no way of getting out of this, Lily were sure of that. Lily could hear Severus was getting to his feet very quickly. "**And why is that?**" Snape snared. "**You have always looked at the books for company when frustrated.**" Dumbledore answered, calm as ever.

A moment of silence. "**Is there a meaning for you finding me, Headmaster?**" Severus asked with an annoyed voice. "**Hm? Oh yes.**" Dumbledore had gotten distracted by something. Another odd thing. In all of the years Lily had known him, she had never experienced this."**I would just like to inform you, that Lily has returned. I thought that you might want to know.**"

Quick footsteps going out of the library. Lily could only guess that it was Severus. Dumbledore rarely hasted going anywhere. The other pair of footsteps walked slooooowly out from between the bookcases and stepped over to stand in the opening of where Lily sat. Yes. It was Dumbledore.

"**Hiding is no use, Lily.**" He had know that she was there from the moment he entered the library. How he did it was still a mystery to Lily. "**You will still have to deal with everything when you come out.**" Lily looked at him with sad eyes. "**Yes. But maybe I'll be able to handle it at that time. **" Lily slowly replied.


	15. Nothing Like Her

_**A/N:** Yes. I know.. Im an idiot for not having published anything for a while.. But good new; Ive finally found out how i am going to end this fic.. :P It will be a few more chapters, but since i now know where im going, it shouldn't take as long as this one :P Enjoy!_

**Chapter 15**

Lily didn't move. Not even after she knew that Dumbledore were long gone. She tried not to think about anything, but couldn't. Soon thoughts of Severus emerged and a lonely, soundless tear fell down her cheek, eventually to hit her knee. Lily shook her head and pressed her forehead against her knee and then swung her arms around her legs. She found herself missing her small hospital room, let alone the nurse. She had been so kind and understanding.

"**Lily?**"

Lily jumped and looked up. It was Neville. "**Oh.. Uhm.. Hi Neville.**" Lily said, stumbling over her own words. Lily wiped away the other tears that had she had allowed out. "**How… How are you feeling?**" he asked. "**I'm okay, I think.**" Lily replied and looked down at the floor.

And then Neville did something very… un-Neville-like. He walked over, sat beside her and laid an arm around her, gently rubbing her on the back. Lily looked up at him. When did Neville become so confident? Neville kept a determent look straight ahead of him.

Lily rested her chin at her knees, also looking straight ahead of them. They sat there a couple of minutes, not talking, until Neville started;

"**You know.. My parents are in St. Mungo's.**" Lily turned her head, so she was resting on her cheek. She was pretty sure that was a statement, that didn't need any answer, so Lily kept quiet, waiting for him to continue. "**They were tortured with the… The same curse you were.**" Lily studied his face quietly. **"Also by Bellatrix Lestrange. They're not.. They're not **_**sane**_**.**" he nearly whispered the last word, and Lily feared that she would have to comfort him, instead of the other way around.

"**I'm sorry.**" Lily said with a broken voice, after she was sure he had finished. That made Neville look back at her. He looked her deep in the eyes. "**Why?**" he asked. Lily frowned, "**I guess.. That the same happening to me, must've brought up some bad memories for you.**" She then stated, in lack of other words. "**That still doesn't make it your fault.**" Lily lip twitched. "**I guess not.**" She turned her gaze forward again.

It wasn't really Bellatrix Lily was in a bad mood over. Ofcourse, it had been a living hell and all, but that was _over_ now. The hell she was in now was much worse and much more painful. Each thought of _him_ tore at her heart a little more.

"**I'm here for you, Lily.**" Neville stated quietly. Lilys lip twitched but she didn't return her gaze at him. "**I know, Neville.. **" Lily took a deep breath and stood up, making Neville flinch beside her. Dumbledore was right on one thing. She couldn't stay at the library forever. Without saying another word to Neville she walked out of the library and straight to her dormitory, ignoring the protest that came from her brother, Ron, Hermione and Ginny when she walked past them without speaking. She didn't come down for dinner, but a house elf came with some food, that Lily suspected to be Dumbledores doing. Tomorrow would be Monday, and that meant Potions. Not that Lily had any intentions of going to that. Lily would fake a cold or something and stay in bed. So she did.

Next morning Lily faked from the moment she opened her eyes. She coughed and made sure to breathe heavily, and ended on telling Ginny that it was probably best that she stayed in the bed today.

When the last one had left the dormitory Lily got out of bed. She put on some jeans and a random t-shirt, followed by the typical Gryffindor robe. She decided she would go see Madam Pomfrey. After all, she was supposed to be sick. When Lily reached the hospital wing the old nurse looked at her cautionous. "**Ah.. Lily. What can I do for you?**" "**Can you do something about my head? It have been killing me ever since.. You know.**" It was true. She did have a headache, but Lily suspected it to be because of something else.

Madam Pomfrey nodded and turned on her heals to go in the storage room at the end of the hospital wing. Lily sighed and sat on a bed while waiting. She couldn't avoid Severus forever and she was pretty sure, that if she kept trying, he would seek her out eventually. And as it turned out, he would.

As Lily left the hospital wing her worst case scenario came to life. Walking towards him was none other, then Severus Snape. Lily immediately panicked and thought about her hiding possibilities, but deep down she knew it was too late. He had seen her and he looked an awful lot like someone who wanted to talk.

Lily started backing but soon Severus had grabbed her by the elbow and pulled her to the side of the hall.

"**How are you feeling?**" he asked genially concerned. Lily didn't answer. "**Lily?**" Lily knew he was concerned about her injuries and didn't know about the battle that was being fought in Lilys head. "**Aren't you supposed to be teaching?**" Lily asked lamely. Severus didn't answer and walked a small step towards her, on which Lily flinched backwards. Severus frowned at her.

"**Lily.. I would never do such a thing willingly. You know it is Dumbledore who asks that of me.**" Severus said quietly. Lily blinked. What? Do what?

When Severus seemed to finally understand that she did not, he continued; "**Bellatrix is a cruel woman, who enjoys hurting people. Just because I was once a deatheater too, and bears the mark, it doesn't mean that I would ever even **_**consider **_**doing such things to you.**" To that, Lily couldn't help but roll her eyes. Why did everyone assume that she was still _suffering_? Lily was fine.. At least physically.

"**Why would I care if you're a deatheater or not?**" Lily asked simply to which, Severus seemed stunned. Lily didn't allow him to speak before continuing; "**You loved my mother.**"

A very, very long pause followed. Severus didn't react in any way and Lily feared she had might caused some kind of heart attack.

"**You are nothing like her.**" He then eventually stated. Lily couldn't really figure out how he meant that. Then it dawned on her she really didn't have to understand it, it was him that had hurt her. "**Oh. Well that changes everything.**" Lily replied sarcastically. A few seconds of silence followed before Lily asked; "**So **_**this,**_" she gestured both of them, "**Have nothing to do with the fact that I look exactly like my mother?**"

"**Lily..**" Severus said. Lily was surprised to hear some coldness in his voice. "**You must be able to see that even if this have started on the wrong base, this have grown into something that means a lot to me… **_**You **_**mean a lot to me.**" He finished.

"**That does not give you the right to lie to me.**" Lily replied, already feeling the tears forming in her eyes. "**Lily.. I'm… **" he started but apparently he wasn't going to speak the rest of the sentence. "**You're what? Sorry? No. **_**I'm **_**sorry. I.. I don't think you even like **_**me**_**.**" With those final words, and a tear down Lily cheek, she walked away. She couldn't handle anymore of this conversation.

Severus didn't follow her.


	16. Devided

**Chapter 16**

Lily tried to smile and be happy the next week. Inside she was starting to break even more down then she already was, and she couldn't keep the façade up anymore. She hadn't really Severus since, because Lily had stopped going to Potions and he barely showed up to any of the meals anymore.

Hermione had her all figured out, Lily was sure of that. She knew what Lily had done but hadn't mentioned it, of which Lily was very thankful. She would just put all of that behind her and get out of Hogwarts as fast as possible.

As Lily reflected all of this while she was walking down the empty corridor. She was aiming for the library. Everyone else was eating now, but Lily would rather like some time alone. So that was what she did.

As Lily was reading up on her Runes, an unfamiliar voice suddenly uttered; "**You Potters have always been weird, but now I've seen the very worst.**" Lily turned around fast and saw a tall blond-haired boy, that she recognized as Draco Malfoy. One of Harry's enemies sort of. The words that the two of them had uttered could be counted on one hand.

"**What do you want?**" Lily simply asked. She was in no mood to discuss or play games. "**Oh.. Nothing really. I just thought I might tell you something I heard a couple of weeks ago while passing the Hospital Wing.**" Lily's blood froze instantly. Draco didn't notice this because he pretended to be very interested in one of Lily's scribblers. "**Isn't it rather odd for a teacher to say that he loves her?**" Draco asked and smirked at her. "**He didn't say that.**" Lily said quickly. "**Oh, of course not. But it sure sounded like that was what he meant.**" Draco pushed. "**And I must surely remind you that teachers aren't supposed to get involved with students. But ofcourse you know all about that. You've been sneaking around all year.**"

Draco had noticed? Of all people, Lily was very surprised that it was exactly him that had noticed it. But perhaps it made rather good sense. Harry and Draco were enemies, and therefore it would be only logical for Draco to look for something that would hurt him or his nearest.

"**I've been to the library.**" Lily lied, but at that, Draco just laughed. "**Why tell me a lie that you don't even believe in yourself?**" A small pause followed before Draco continued. "**I've seen the two of you. The stupid eye-fucking you had going on was ridiculous obvious. **""**I don't know what you're talking about.**" Lily insisted. If she just kept on denying, maybe he would drop it.

"**Yes you do.**" Draco simply stated. Lily was beginning to get rather mad at him. "**What is it that you want, Draco?**" Lily asked irritated and looked directly at him. "**You'll find out soon enough. I'm not done. I wanna hear more about your late night visits. Did you have sex? Because, you know, he could very well be old enough to be your father.**"

_You have no idea. _

"**Screw you.**" Lily said, turning around and started gathering her things. "**You probably wouldn't anyway. I'm not old enough, am I? You don't have to answer that. I know you do. By the way.. Does Potter know that you are sleeping with the one person he hates more than me? He would sure love that.**"

Lily didn't answer. He was getting to her, she could feel that much. "**Of course he doesn't.. Maybe I should tell him. Maybe I should tell him how you like to be sho-**"

"**You have no right to start lurking around in my personallife.**" Lily exclaimed before she could stop herself. "**Ah.. So you admit it?**" Draco asked way to fast. It was as if he had waited for her to boil over and to slip and fall. "**No.**" Lily simply stated, but it was already too late. The battle was lost.

"**I wonder what the daily prophet would say about this.**" Draco acted. "**You wouldn't dare.**" Lily snarled. At that, Draco laughed and turned away and started walking away from Lily. "**Where are you going?**" Lily yelled after him. "**You'll see. Perhaps you can make it to the morning issue.**" Draco replied, disappearing out of sight.

_Shit._ What the hell was she supposed to do now? To do everything worse, Harry turned around the corner, looking very confused and a little embarrassed.

"**Lily. I walked past Draco.. Did he say anything to you?**" "**No.. He didn't do anything.**" Lily easily lied. Harry was not going to get pulled into this too. It was becoming too much. "**Why aren't you at dinner?**" Lily continued. She was not going to give him the chance to think about her answer.

"**Well.. I was actually looking for you.**" Pause. "**You've.. Eh.. You've been spending a lot of time on your own lately, Lily.**" Harry had a hard time getting the whole sentence out, Lily could tell that much. "**Look, Harry.. You don't have to care. And too be honest.. I don't really want you to. Not with this.**" Lily said very fast. Her anger was still bubbling from Draco's words and Harry pushing himself into caring was not what she wanted to hear.

"**But Lily-**" Harry started. "**No Harry. Please. Just… No.**" Lily said and turned her back on him. A couple of seconds of silence followed. "**You know what Lily. It is fucking hard to get to you if you keep shutting me out.**" Harry said slowly. Fast steps out of the library was heard.

Lily let out a breath that she didn't know she was holding. This was just not going the right way, and it did not make it any better that she knew that Draco was planning to do something.

She feared the worst.

Lily pretty much tried to forget about it, and when the Daily Prophet hadn't written anything the day after, she tried to fell back into the rutine that she had been working on the last few weeks. It worked for a couple of days. Until about a week after the evening in the library.

Then it happened.

Lily was sleeping when she got shook hard, and the familiar voice of Ginny Weasley entered her ears. "**Lily. Wake up. You need to see something.**" She sounded concerned. Lily sat up and rubbed her eyes. "**What's wrong, Ginny? Did something happen?**" Ginny bit her lips. "**Look at this.**"

A 'Daily Prophet' was put down on the covers infront of her.

_This is it.. I cant take it anymore.. I'm done.. _

**A/N: **This was sort of short. But we're reaching the end! I can see the finish line. (; The next chapter will be longer.

Three chapters left people!


	17. Lovescorn

_**A/N: **__Two chapters left people! Enjoy! _

**Chapter 17**

**Hogwarts teacher gets involved with a student**

The words were written in the middle of the front page of the 'Daily Prophet', and right under there was two pictures. One of Lily, and one of Severus, both looking rather confused. Lily stared speechlessly on the paper. _This is it.. I'm done.. My life is over._

Ginny was the one that broke the silence. "**It's not true is it?**"

It took all the willpower left in Lily's body to respond to that. She shook her head. "**N-no. Of course not.**" She lied.

"**Aw. Don't worry Lily. We'll fix this.**"

Lily knew it was impossible. This was not something that was going to be fixed just like that. Lily threw her legs over the side of the bed, leaned her elbows on her knees and buried her face in her hands. Somewhere that seemed far away, Ginny said something about going down to find Hermione. That left Lily alone in the dormitory.

What was she going to do now?

Dumbledore had to be the only option. He would surely know what to do about this. Besides, he would probably make her feel better, and right now, that was just about what she needed. Lily stood up and started putting some clothes on.

As she walked down the stairs to Gryffindors common room all she hoped for was to the rest of the House to just shut up about it. She did not want to get out in a bigger conversation in whether or not she and Severus were together.

Boy, did she get what she asked for.

As she turned out from the stairs into the common room, all of the small talk that had been going on stopped immediately and everyone's eyes were directed at her. She felt like her first day all over again. Great. The house was talking about it. And only that.

Harry, Hermione and Ron were nowhere to be seen, and that didn't make anything better. Lily sighed and started walking towards the portrait. Around her, even the smallest of students had gotten up on a chair or had gotten in front of the others, just so they could get a better look at her. Lily let out a breath she didn't knew she was holding as soon as she got out of there.

Lily walked as fast as possible down the hallway. Everywhere she went; people looked at her, either with disgust, or pity.

When she reached the gargoyle, she was down to very slow walking that turned to still standing as soon as she was close enough. She started at it for a good ten minutes before finally approaching it fully, but as she stepped forward the gargoyle jumped aside without asking for a password.

_He knows. _Somehow, the thought of that, made Lily breathe more steadily. She moved up of the long staircase and knocked once on Dumbledore's door. It swung open and revealed Dumbledore looking straight at her over his half-moon-glasses. He was situated behind his desk and in the middle of it, the Daily Prophet was laying. "**Hello Lily.**" He said. They looked at each other. "**Come in. I think we need to talk.**"

Lily sighed, but did as she was asked to. Dumbledore didn't say anything but just looked at Lily. Lily on the other hand tried to avoid eye contact, so she was focusing on the newspaper in front of her. The picture of her was smiling encouraging at her, as is the picture somehow knew what she had gotten into.

"**Why don't you tell me what happened?**" Dumbledore asked. He didn't sound mad or disappointed, which made Lily get some of her courage back. "**Someone heard us talking.**" Lily stated and looked up at Dumbledore. A small frown was appearing in between his eyebrows.

Before Dumbledore got to say anything, Lily's mouth started talking on its own. "**I know it was stupid, and we shouldn't have been so ****imprudent**** to talk about such in the middle of everything.. But.. I didn't know that anyone was around. And-**"

"**Lily, Lily.**" Dumbledore stopped her. "**As long as you see it, we don't have to talk about it. There's no point in rubbing it in.**" He leaned his head and looked at her over his glasses as he used to. "**What happened?**" he repeated.

It then occurred to Lily that what Dumbledore originally had asked about, was not what Lily had thought. He asked her what had happened between Lily and Severus. "**Oh..**" Lily exclaimed. She really didn't wanted to talk to Dumbledore about this. Since Dumbledore had been more or less of a father to her, her entire life, this would get uncomfortable.

When she didn't say anything, Dumbledore started pushing. "**Lily, what happened?**" Lily gave out a sigh. "**He's not who I thought he was.**" Dumbledore nodded. "**I assume he told you about your mother?**"

"**He didn't tell me anything!**" Lily said harshly. "**Sirius told me.**" Dumbledore nodded confirming again. "**And because of that, you gave up?**" 'Gave up'? Lily did not give up! She had fought hard to get to where they were. "**I am not the one that have been lying the entire time.**"Lily said. "**Is he?**" Dumbledore responded a little too fast in Lily's opinion. "**Think about it Lily. He have chosen not to say anything because he is afraid of losing you. What does that make him? A liar or a lovescorn man?**" Lily frowned. She hadn't tried putting it that way.

"**Lily.. A rose isn't less real just because it came out of a thorn bush. **" he continued. Lily rolled her eyes in her head. Typical Dumbledore to start new-age crap. "**Just because something started as a misunderstanding, doesn't make the outcome any less real than something that was clear from the beginning.**"

"**So.. What you mean is.. Just because Severus might have.. **_**failed **_**to mention my mother, doesn't mean that he doesn't love me?**" Dumbledore smiled at her. "**All I know is, when you find something as rare as love in this world. You should do everything you can to hold on to it.**"

As always he was right. But then again, when wasn't he?

"**What now?**" Lily simply asked. Dumbledore knew what she meant immediately. "**All you can do. Stay together.**"

"**How?**" Lily asked. "**That is not up to me to decide. But if I were you, I would want to.. **_**break loose.**_" And then Lily got it. She saw the bigger picture.

Lily left Dumbledore's office and walked determent through the corridors. Everywhere she went, people looked at her and started whispering, but right now, Lily didn't care. She knew what she had to do. As she came closer and closer to her destination, her steppes got slower. She then stopped fully in front of the door.

This was going to change everything.

Lily took a deep breath and knocked on the door. Muffled sounds were heard from the inside before the door finally opened and revealed the Potions Master with a rather irritated expression on his face. That quickly disappeared when he saw Lily.

"**We need to talk.**"


	18. Bleeding Your Heart Out

_**A/N:**__ I rather like this chapter actually. I wrote it rather fast too actually. Seems like my inspiration have gotten back! Hope you like it too! Enjoy! _

**Chapter 18**

A hand gently touched Harry Potters shoulder. He had his chin leaned on his armed that he had folded on the table. He felt very bad for Lily. Having to be a victim to these stupid rumors. There had been some weird rumors about him the last few years, but it was nothing like this. This was.. Well.. Disgusting. Harry was sure that Lily would never get involved with a teacher, let alone Snape! Just the thought of him made the rage stir his stomach again.

_Snape._

This was all his fault! It was probably his fault that this had started to spread! It was no secret that Snape and Harry never had been able to get along, and this was probably another way to try and get to Harry. "**This is all Snape's fault. I'm sure he did spread the rumor.**" He stated.

Ginny was the first to answer, and that actually surprised Harry a little. He would have thought that Hermione would have come with some silly logical explanation to prove him wrong. Instead it was Ginny this time. "**Don't you think you're overreacting, Harry? I don't think that Snape would put himself in a situation where he could get fired.**" She gently said, rubbing his shoulder.

"**I don't think he cares about his job. All he cares about is giving me as many setbacks as humanly possible.**" Harry said. "**C'mon mate. Even Snape is not that bad.**" Coming from Ron's mouth, that was practically a compliment for Snape. What was with people actually _liking_ Snape today? Harry turned his head to look at Hermione. "**And you? I suppose you suddenly like Snape too?**" he asked her. Hermione looked down, not of defeat, as Harry had thought she would. No. She looked down with genuine sadness in her eyes.

Harry frowned. "**What's wrong?**" Harry forgot everything about being mad at Snape. Hermione met his eyes again and smiled a fake smile. "**Nothing.** **Don't you think you should be talking to Lily actually? I'm sure she doesn't feel very well right now..**" Hermione avoided the subject. Harry let her go for now, because he knew she was right. _Lily must be feeling awful._ If Harry was mad about it, what wouldn't Lily be? Sure, Harry hadn't really known her that long, and they hadn't really talked since she yelled at him last week, but when it came to serious crises, Harry was with her all the way. Besides, if family doesn't support you, then who would? Harry sighed and smiled halfly. "**You're right. I'm going to go find her.**" He said and he rose from his depressed position.

"**You want me to come?**" Ginny asked hesitant. Harry thought about it and agreed with himself that it would be a good thing to have a girl with him, if Lily suddenly started talking about something like.. emotions. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself otherwise, Harry was just not good at talking about something like that. Every time Ginny had brought it up, Harry had started to feel very awkward and very misplaced.

Harry nodded at Ginny which also stood up then, and then they made their way out of the Great Hall. After looking the tower and the library through with no clue of Lily, Harry headed back to the Great hall when a loud bang was heard all over Hogwarts. The Castle trembled under Harry's feet for a second and he had to support himself against the wall so he wouldn't fall. He turned to look at Ginny. She seemed as surprised as him. Beside him, teachers came running and they were all heading for the Entrance Hall, so Harry figured, that was where he wanted to be to. So he ran after them.

Heavy purple smoke was coming out of the dungeon. It was slowly filling the hall, and so the huge doors were opened. The smoke came with a horrible smell of burnt flesh and metal a sort of metally smell that Harry couldn't quite put a finger on what was. The smell was so brutal, that Harry had to keep his sleeve over his mouth and nose just to be there.

Dumbledore rushed past Harry. He went straight into the purple smoke, soon to be followed by a handful of the teachers. A spell was heard from behind the smoke and then the smoke disappeared, followed by several loud gasps from down in the dungeon. As the smoke disappeared, the smell was not as distinct as before, allowing Harry to breathe freely. He wanted to take a closer look to what it was, so he went down the dungeon-stairs and turned around the corner just in time to see a blood spattered attic inside the Potions classroom, before the door was closed. Then it hit him. It wasn't metal he had smelled before. It was blood. Harry gasped, causing all the present teachers to turn against him.

The mere sight of him, made Professor McGonnagal whimper. "**Oh.. I'm so sorry Harry.. And you had just getting used to having a sister!**" Wait, what? It was Lily in there! "**That's Lil-**""**Harry. Could you go wait in my office?**" It was Dumbledore that had interrupted him. Harry swallowed hard, but nodded and turned away. As he reached Ginny again, he could feel tears running down his chins. He did not think that he could live through having lost yet another family member. Ginny looked frightened at him. "**It's Lily.**" He stated. Ginny's lips formed a soundless 'Oh' and then she pulled Harry into a hug while whispering comforting words in his ears.

No. Harry would not let himself have a mental breakdown right now. He had to be stronger than that. Ginny followed him to the entrance to Dumbledore's office. By that time, Harry's grief had been irrationally replaced with a lot of questions. Why had Lily been down at the Potions classroom? Was she talking to Snape? Had Snape done this? And Harry's worst case-scenario; was it Lily that had done it? Had it been too much for her? Harry was not able to get the thought completely out of his head, and therefore he pushed it down in the very back of his skull. The gargoyle jumped aside for him as he approached. He let go of Ginny's hand and walked up the stairs and into the huge office.

He was joined by Dumbledore only a moment or two later. He situated himself in his chair when Harry asked the first question; "**Did Lily cause this?**" Harry would rather have that confirmed or denied to begin this. He looked at Dumbledore. He seemed a bit puzzled. After a few second he then nodded his head. Harry closed his eyes and let out a breath he didn't knew he was holding. This could simply not be. If this had been so bad for Lily, why hadn't she talked to anyone? It didn't even have had to be him. It could have been Ron for God's sake! Just as long as it didn't have to have ended like this.

"**Why?**" Harry asked, although he didn't expect Dumbledore to have an actually answer to that. Nonetheless, he was actually granted one from him; "**Lily simply wasn't happy about how things had turned out. What happened today was what caused the kettle to boil over, I'm sorry for the poor comparison, and so she went and tried to do something about it. **"

Harry grunted. Dumbledore could really be inappropriate sometimes. Harry's sister had just died, and now he made a joke out of it?"**How did it happen?**" Harry asked slowly. "**I believe it was a potion. Which one is still uncertain at this point.**" Dumbledore answered. _It must have gone very wrong._ Harry thought. No combination of potions ingredients that Harry knew of could cause it to go as wrong as it had looked down in the dungeons.

_Lily's blood must have been all over that room. If it was at the attic, there's a good possibility that it had been smeared all over the rest of the content in the room. _The thought made Harry sick to his stomach. He had seen a lot of cruel things in his young life, but this had really been too much.

"**Are you alright Harry?**" Dumbledore asked subtle. Harry nodded and took in a deep breath. "**Was she alone?**" Harry asked. "**No. Professor Snape was, as far as we could interoperate from the classroom there too**" Harry tried to blame it on him. He tried to be angry at Snape, because surely, he couldn't have been present in the room without knowing what Lily was doing. Ron's word from earlier rung through Harry's mind. _Even Snape is not that cruel._ Ron had been right. This was not one that could be blamed on him. Especially if he had been killed woo.

"**This is my fault. If I would have tried to talk to her more often. Try to figure out what was wrong with her, this wouldn't have happened.**" Harry exclaimed. "**Harry, I don't think it would have changed anything, to be honest.**" Dumbledore responded. "**I appreciate you trying to encourage me, but it's not really working. If I would have just been a better brother, this wouldn't have happened. Lily wouldn't be dead.**"Harry buried his face in his hands.

A chuckle was heard from the other side of the table which caused Harry to look up. Dumbledore was smiling and looked at him with his classic over-the-glasses-look.

"**Oh my dear boy. Who said anything about Lily being dead?**"


	19. Six Months Later

**Six months later**

It was a great day. The sun was shining from a blue sky, and the temperature had finally started going upwards. The streets of Edinburgh summed with life. The streets were filled with people on their way home from work or school. Of course, when people do that, they mostly end making a lot of noise at the same time.

In the middle of all of this, a young red-haired girl tried to do the same, minus the noise. The girl had never been much of a group person, and therefore she had tried blocking the sound out by putting on some rather big headphones. She wasn't far from home. It was just around the corner of the next street. After getting through a larger group of people assembling in front of a street artist, she turned the corner and entered the entrance of the stairwell that led to her home. She walked up the stairs and entered the apartment, taking the headphones around her neck in the progress.

"**You're late.**" A familiar voice spoke as the door got shut. Soon after the man in her life entered the apartment entrance. He walked closer to her and gently took the headphones off of her neck.

Severus kissed Lily. Not just a regular kiss.. No. He kissed her as if had she been gone for several years when in reality, she had only been gone for a few hours. "**Only 15 minutes.**" Lily whispered breathlessly as they parted. Severus sighed deeply and kissed one more time before letting go of her. Lily looked after him and dropped her bag on the floor, as he walked back into their bedroom where he had come from. He had been so much more happier since they had 'died'.

Lily often thought of that day. After she had entered down at the dungeons, Lily had just looked at him and smiled comforting and kissed him. No words were necessary. She had forgiven him for not talking about her mother. Lily had explained the idea that Dumbledore had planted in her head; If they faked their death, they would be able to get away from Hogwarts and live their own life without having to worry about anything.

It hadn't been easy for Lily to do this, although the choice had been incredible easy. She had already lived in hiding for most of her life, and to do it again, had made her in a foul mood the first few weeks. But she knew what she had gotten in return. She had gotten _him._ The real him. Severus was so much calmer outside the school. Lily had sensed this person from time to time when the two of them had been alone in his chambers back at Hogwarts.

Besides, the hiding thing was not nearly as bad as before Hogwarts. Since the magical world all thought she was dead, and the world of muggles had no idea who they were, it wasn't as strict. Before, Lily could barely step outside, but since no one was looking for them, everything was safe. They could even use magic, although Lily tried to refrain from it, because she still had the Trace on her. Severus had been raised in a magical family, so the ability to use magic, was a thing that Severus appreciated and used fully.

Dumbledore had helped them greatly. As it turned out, Dumbledore had a rather big amount of muggle money that, when Lily thought about it, she should have known. How else was he paying for the house that she had been staying in? Anyway, Dumbledore had given them all of the money so they had 'something to start out on', as he had put it.

Her train of thought was interrupted as Severus voice was heard from their bedroom. "**You got owl mail today.**" He said. Owl mail? Lily hadn't gotten that since before her death-day. They still got the Daily Prophet sent by owl, but otherwise they tried not to draw any attention to themselves.

As she took off her jacket she frowned and asked; "**From who?**" "**I wouldn't know, but from that terrible writing, I would guess it to be from Miss Granger.**" Hermione? She was supposed to believe she was dead. Lily took of her shoes as the last thing and walked into their bedroom.

Severus was situated on their bed with a potions book in his lap and parchments were spread around him. Lily couldn't help but stop and smile at that scene. Although Severus might not have loved to teach, he was having a hard time letting go of his habits when it came to researching. Lily sighed at him. "**Are you ever going to stop doing that?**" she asked and walked closer to the bed. Severus looked up at her. "**No. It relaxes me.**" Lily shook her head at him.

Her letter was lying on her nightstand, and sure enough, the way Lily's name was written, it very much looked like it was Hermione that had written it. Lily situated herself in the bed with her back against the headboard and started reading.

_Dear Lily. _

_I am writing on behalf of Harry, that can't really get himself together to actually write a letter of his own. Perhaps one day when he has accepted it a little better._

_He didn't speak to any of us in days after your _(several words as 'death', 'runaway' and 'elope' had been written, but had been crossed over.) _choice to go with Professor Snape, and he didn't tell us why before several weeks later. He's still a little mad at you, for not telling him, I think. And he is of course also mad at Professor Snape for, and I quote; 'tricking you into going with him and abandon Harry'. I don't think he really understand why you did it. _

_I do. I hope you are very happy wherever you are now. I hope your both are. I do believe that Harry one day will understand that this was out of love, and not because Professor Snape asked you too._

_If you are wondering where I know all of this from, Dumbledore told Harry almost immediately after the incidence in the dungeons. Apparently it was never meant to be a secret that was supposed to be kept when it came to Harry. The Daily Prophet was very busy the days after the incidence, trying to convince everybody, that it wasn't their fault that you 'killed yourself'. Now I just look at that and laugh. _

_Ginny and I really miss you, and I know that Harry does too. He's just too angry at the moment to admit it. Maybe one day, we will get to see you again. _

_I do not expect an answer to this letter. I just thought that there were some things that you would want to hear. I will try to soften up Harry. _

_Hermione. _

Lily was really not surprised that Harry was mad at her. Had she found out that Harry had done something similar to Lily, she would probably be mad too. Lily read the letter once more and sighed. It was unlikely that they would see each other again. Lily and Severus would not be able to go on visits. Lily folded the letter and put it in her drawer.

"**Anything interesting?**" Severus asked, still deeply buried in his potions book. Lily moved away the parchments that was lying between them and moved closer to Severus. "**Well.. To sum-up; Dumbledore told Harry, Harry is mad at us, and if you get near him some time in the next couple of years, he will probably kill you. Yup.. That's pretty much that. Could you…?**" Lily tugged at Severus' arm. "**Lily I am reading.**" Lily tugged at his arm again and he sighed and lifted the arm so that Lily could crawl closer to him. "**Happy?**" he asked a little annoyed. "**Ecstatic.**"Lily answered sarcastically as she adjusted his arm around her so that she was comfortable. Severus sighed and put the potions book on his own nightstand "**Well.. I am glad to hear that Potter finally got some violent thoughts.**" Lily raised an eyebrow and leaned against him while saying; "**Oh trust me. Harry had many violent thoughts about you from before you and I even lay eyes on each other.**" Severus grunted.

After a couple of minutes just lying there, Severus cleared his throat to make sure that Lily was still awake. She had made a habit of falling asleep after she got home from the Muggle School she was attending. She was even close right now. Nonetheless she gently stroked his arm to say that she was still awake. "**Do you want to answer Miss Granger's letter?**" he asked. Lily thought a little while over that before simply saying "**No.**"Lily didn't really need anything more than what she had right now. All she had ever needed to have was Severus.

And now she did.

**THE END**

_**A/N: **__FINISHED! I really hope you all enjoyed reading the story just as much as I enjoyed writing it. Thank you for all of your reviews! Thanks for the criticism. Now I know what to do better for another time. Thank you again. _


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